Wyverns Kindly Prepare Ground, Get Hammered

by Henry Adams

The Wombats cruised to their second win of the season with a convincing win over the Wyverns.

It should be mentioned we wouldn’t have even had the chance if it wasn’t for the fantastic early morning work to prepare the field. A special mention has to go to Dan Mee, who was at the ground while some of us were still in bed. In retrospect, those Wyverns, who woke up disgustingly early to prepare the ground, are probably regretting some life choices given the result.

All in all, it’s safe to say the Wommies had a shaky start: Patmore nearly called the game off because he was in a bad mood, in the end settling for a delay and reduced overs (dummy spit nomination if there ever was one). Our rocky start then worsened when Himan and I cashing in some beauty sleep, waking up around the same time everyone else was trying to leave Shibuya. It did though set up one of the highlights of the day: Richie getting stopped by police as Himan flees the scene, while trying to collect him from the train station.

Somehow though, 11 wombats made it to the field and to the consistent tune of Game of Thrones (I think we will all go crazy if we hear it one more time Dan…) got off to a flyer, the Wyverns crawling to 25 off the first 10 overs. Achal and AJ kept it very tight as the openers seemingly played for a draw. AJ’s 11 runs conceded from his 6 overs was well earned with his hooping outswingers regularly beating the bat.

It was at this point that after a brief period of decent batting from the opening pair the little one (Miyauchi), who was quite a handy bat it turned out, decided to single-handedly destroy their inning with a selection of gloriously village wickets. He sent back his fellow opener leaving him well short after a sharp piece of fielding from Deano and then followed it up in the same over by doing the same thing to his number 3. The only discernible difference between the two was the possible (ok definite…) fumble while taking the bails off. In truly forward-thinking fashion we made sure to loudly discuss whether or not it should have been out just after the umpires gave the wicket. Their opener then somehow outdid his previous two run outs by spooning up a ball I had ‘tactically’ bowled from 25 yards straight to mid-on, completing his decimation of the top 3 in hilarious fashion. There were not many straight faces from the wombats at this point.

The rest of their innings was made up of a combination of tight bowling from all involved (Dean, Dan, myself, and Himan) sprinkled with several more complete WTF moments from the batting side. Cricket was undoubtedly the winner as Dan got a batsman caught behind with a delivery that bounced somewhere around his own feet and then again when Himan got their danger-man out LBW with a ball that came back down with ice on it. And yes, I was as surprised as anyone else when the ball hit the stumps for that run-out at the end. The result though was a very strong bowling and fielding performance getting them all out for a fairly chase-able total of 154.

Other noteworthy moments included Samarji’s glorious attempt to make his whites browns, including a dive to stop a ball that wasn’t even coming his way and our ‘secret squirrel chat’, pointing out that: perhaps making fun of the poor umpiring wasn’t a great plan in the long term. This coming after they gave a batsman out caught behind after the ball hit considerably closer to the elbow than the glove. Overall the umpires had a bit of a day to forget…

The batting performance was equally as strong as the bowling performance. The opening pair of Patmore and Richie made a 96-run partnership, effectively ending the game and looking at ease while doing so. Richie decimated the bowling, scoring four 6s as he made 58 by only the 14th over, including a six so large that the Wyvern fielding at cow corner wouldn’t shut up about it until we agreed we’d also seen it and it was very large. This also turned out to be his biggest mistake as the replacement ball was just plain sh*t, just ask Dan Mee (LBW to a ball that basically rolled). At the other end Patmore steadily accumulated in typically unflappable style ending the game on 47 not out and was only denied his 50 by Dean down the other end. The only fault with his innings was his forward defence with 2 runs needed to win and 3 to get his 50, which brought a chorus of boos from Wommies watching on.

Dean, who scored an unbeaten 28 to finish the game, found the boundary with ease, picking the gaps (regularly between the fielders hands) very well. A special mention should also go to the Wyverns bowlers who managed to bowl 23 wides in their 25 overs; I can only assume that they really wanted to watch the England World Cup game that evening. The Wommies won the game with 8 wickets in hand and within 32 overs, giving us the bonus point and a very comfortable win!

The final touches to the day came in the form of the dress sense of the victorious wombats. Frankie’s bacon trousers (unfortunately criminally underused by most other fashion icons) were un-ironically ‘on fleek’ and were made all the better when contrasted to Samarji’s slightly singed trousers and imploding shoes. All in all it was a miracle that the ladies of Shibuya got any sleep that night… although of course AJ did have to dash back early so I shouldn’t speak too soon.

Overall it was a very good day to be a wombat, both on and off the field!

Catches

• Himanshu – took a pair of good catches.
• Alex’s catch off Henry’s bowling was one of the best I have seen.

Dropped Catches

• Luke – jumping up high and to his right at mid-wicket, managing to get one hand to a baseball shot off a short one from Henry. Saved a boundary and would have been a stunner had he taken it.
• Deano – dropping one hit low and flat to him at mid off. Would normally back Deano to gobble that one. Minus his growing belly, he surely would have latched onto it.

Quotes

• Der der Dadader, Dadader… Ginger Ninja when Joffrey about to Bowl.
• With few runs needed to win, Luke asking around if any one wants to bat in his place to avoid getting the olympic nomination.
• Anything related to what the PNG Under 19s did the night before in Sano to get themselves thrown out of the qualifying game for the Under 19 World Cup, thus handing the spot to Japan. (Turns out 11 of them were caught for shoplifting!)

Great Moments in Sport

• Magic Runout! Henry gathering a slightly throw in by Samarji and, with a no look flick, dislodges the bails to end the Wyverns innings. One of three runouts for the Wombats!
• The Big 6s that ended up in space.
• Henry – having slept through his alarm,  and only waking upon receiving a call from the prez, bolted to the nearest train station and made it to Fuji just in time, spending all his remaining living allowance to get there. He had only a few hundred yen left in his pockets which was spend on a loaf of bread and some chocolate (under 200 yen) which he turned into sandwiches for sustenance. He then took 3 fer and was involved in two runouts. Not bad.
• Fielding by the whole team, great energy in the field, taking run out chances and overall keeping a dangerous team down to a manageable total.
• Blokes setting to work on both Fuji 1 and 2 to mop up puddles and damp patches.
• Himan taking danger man Buddhika after being hit for two sixes, if he’d made contact would have ended up back in Tokyo.
• Dean coming in at 4, scoring better than a run a ball for 28 to finish the game off quickly.
• Richie breaking the back of the run chase with 50-odd.
• One of the best all-round displays by the Wombats with bat, ball and in the field.
• Fireboy’s ‘secret squirrel’ speech during the second drinks break.
• AJ’s opening spell of 6-0-11.
• Achal taking the new ball and creating lots of early pressure.

Dummy Spits

• Richie losing it when the GOT theme song is sung.
• Samarji – who went millennial AF on us when we arrived back in Tokyo, hoping to go chase some tail at the Hub rather than watch the cricket over a beer at Hobgoblin. “Ah we’re just a bunch of boring c**ts watching the cricket on a Saturday night…” This for several minutes. No wonder his parents were OK with him coming to Japan.
• Mirrors for getting upset Jarrad didn’t watch every moment of the “action”, missing who effected a run out and hence having to ask (for the scorers).
• Prez for anyone else calling him Jon.

Golden Thong Nominations

• Samarji – chasing fairies while fielding in the deep. Some of the most interesting moments of the match were in fact imaginary and playing themselves out in James’ daydreams.
• Samarji earned the new name “Stumbles” not able to stand up even when the ball wasn’t coming his way.
• Jon for getting pulled over by the cops for accidentally pulling into the taxi rank.
• Himan for running away from said cops.
• Cops for “pretending to do (their) jobs because the cabbies are watching and will get pissy if (we) do nothing.”
• AJ for repeatedly calling a ball that was driven at me from 10 yards away and proceeded to hit me below the ankle, a dropped catch.
• Aforementioned lie-ins from Joffrey and Himan.