WOMBATS PREY ON PITIFUL PREDATORS

by Evan Hitchman

Last Sunday the Wombats rose early (well those of us not still on the piss at 7am, mentioning no names but we enjoyed the guilt beers!) and made the long journey down to Shizuoka to take on cross-town rivals, the Predators. The trip down was uneventful enough with most doing their best to sober up from the previous evening’s festivities and Rosco confirming his world class sleeping talents, snoring his way from Shinagawa to Fuji with consummate ease. The boys finally arrived down at Fuji to find an outfield that certainly wasn’t lighting quick and was described by others as being “farking shithouse” and an “utter joke”! The discovery of the brand new, ride on mower in the Fuji Sheds by Laids was certainly ironic. It was in good nick and funnily enough looked like it had hardly been used!

Having won the toss in hot and sticky conditions, Captain for the day Beefy decided to put the Predators in with the view to getting a key win after the previous loss but more importantly finishing early so we could all have a few more beers after the hoped-for schelacking. Nick and Laids opened up for the Wommies and both bowled great spells, putting the Predators’ openers under pressure, keeping it tight on the slow pitch and making them look quite ordinary more than often.

Nick got the first breakthrough, bowling the opener with a super delivery after a sustained period of pressure. Laids was unlucky at the other end, somehow going wicketless in his spell of 0-4 off 4 but the pressure showed at the other end as Nick bagged a well deserved second on his way to solid figures of 2-16 off 6.

After Laids had laid the platform from his end, our new Mexican immigrant, “Peres” (as the Predators somehow conjured from the name Ferris!) caused mayhem in the Predators line up with a tremendous spell of teasing bowling that had the batters wearing the brown pants in no time. Once the first wicket fell they just kept coming for the big fella and his smile was as wide as his sombrero as 1 became 2 and 2 became 3. Rosco Peres ended up taking a 5-for with new record figures for the Wombats of 5/16 off 8, knocking Curly off the perch which will no doubt give him the shits and have him looking up the scorecard for some missed sundries or miscalculation somewhere in there. Let’s hope no one notices that we don’t actually have a Mexican or a Peres registered for the Wommies at the moment!

Whatever the case it was a tremendous performance from Ross, even more so given he was breaking into an asthma attack after each ball after his strenuous 3 step run up became just too much! It was just as well that Rosco running amok from the River End, taking wickets and keeping it tight-as, at the other end Big Al was giving the umpires RSI with some Harmison–esque, less than straight deliveries! Those new toe shoes Al was sporting must be for grass only as although he was wayward on the pitch he was a devil in the field, cutting off some ripping drives that on the Fuji outfield were almost certain singles! Koolhof ended up with 0-23 off 6.

After Al’s spell, newcomer Evan came on and managed an interesting double, taking his first wicket in his first over without even appealing and a few balls later being marched for dangerous bowling! A good catch from behind by Shearer and an appeal from somewhere at backward square leg saw the umpire give the Predators bat his marching orders to the bemusement of all and sundry. Unfortunately the good start went downhill as the sundry curse that Alex had left stayed on and with two loose full tosses, saw his brief but action-packed spell brought to an end with figures of 1-5 off 9 (balls that is!).

Evan’s withdrawal saw Beefy step up to the plate and showed how it’s done, finishing the innings with his second ball to end up with 1-0 leaving the Wombats to chase a paltry total of 68. Early beers definitely looked on the cards. Or so Kyal thought after disappearing at the start of the innings to go and buy his guilt beers to find the Wombats in all sorts of trouble at 5 down for not much. Burkey and Beefy opened up and most of the Wommies and the oppo presumably thought it was shut-the-gates with no one needed after that.

And how wrong they were! A decent spell of bowling from the opener who was skidding a few on and getting a bit of movement saw Burkey, Evan, Trent, Peres the Mexican and Farmer all go cheaply and have Beefy shaking his head as the scoreboard read 5-20 just as Kyal arrived with victory beers that would have to be put on ice for a few more overs. Jarred came in to steady the ship with Beef and did just that as they saw off all the Predators had and steadily knocked off the remaining runs with relative ease leaving Laids still padded up, unneeded again and having the shits!

A good win in the end, made a lot harder than it needed to be in true Wombats style with Jarred making 16 not out and Beefy a steady, unbeaten 28 despite the wickets falling around him. With the much needed victory sealed, the boys settled down for a few well-earned beers courtesy of Jarred and Kyal, which went down like a treat.

The trip home was a highlight of the day with all the boys on form and firing up (even Peres managed to stay awake!) and despite no one getting naked or throwing passengers’ clothes out the door on this trip, we did manage to scare the locals and get the attention of the guards with a rousing rendition of the team song. A great day for all and a welcome win for the Wombats.