TWCC 168/4 - 52/6 British Embassy

March 21, 2015 - 11:00 am at Fuji 1
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by Alex Patmore

The Wombats got 2015 underway with a friendly against the British Embassy in a resurrection of the Tokyo Ashes contest, as well as paying stranded Tom Hanks Dino a visit down in Fuji in the process.

Thanks to insane traffic, the Wombats had a chance to renew acquaintances and get to know new members in the van ride down, which took the best part of four hours. Nigel laying down a marker for the rest of the season exclaiming that if anywhere, he preferred it on his face. He may have been talking about the air con but the jury’s still out on that one.

Seeing as Dino’s best mate these days is a volleyball with a face daubed on in blood, he was understandably reluctant to call the game off before the arrival of the civilized Wombats. Cue a repeat of 2013 pitch drying heroics, with everyone doing their bit; Shahir mopping, Luke scarifying, new recruit Ken laying out the boundary ropes, and Yusry, er, bowling at the Embassy in the nets.

A shortened game was agreed at the toss, as well as it being agreed by both captains that the Wombats would bat first. Patmore and Shahir walked out to open, and after a few singles Shahir found himself given out trapped in front by Hollywood umpire Koolhof. Jimmi was next man in and along with Patmore the pair gradually set about building the Wombats’ score. This was done fairly risk-free, save for the frequent mid-pitch collisions between the two when they were trying to run.

With the worsening weather and the limited overs in mind, the batsmen started playing a few more aggressive shots, Patmore retiring for 60 and Jimmi falling leg before for 40odd. Luke Eyes and Jamie Payne had a bit of a hit after these two. Whilst many of the Wombats on the side were glued to the Black Caps quarter final and Martin Guptil, they still took the time to acknowledge another momentous cricketing moment, Jamie scoring a run at Fuji off his 58th ball. Luke departed when having a swing, Jamie ensured he would walk off the Fuji ground unbeaten once more, this time retiring. This allowed ‘non-batter’ Ev a quick go, as well as Ken and Vik the briefest of hits and giggles before the innings came to a premature end due to the worsening weather.

Seeing as they’d fielded in the rain for a couple hours, it was only fair we offered the Embassy the chance to have a go themselves. To a man we were clearly delighted they took it. This allowed possibly the most village-looking Wombats XI to ever take the field, an assortment of rain coats, jackets, hoodies, gloves, ear muffs, wooly hats and even a couple of mobile phones made their way on to the ground.

Given the slippery and wet conditions, the Wombats bowlers acquitted themselves superbly, eschewing pace for accuracy. Although come to think of it, not sure what Koolhof eschewed. Hardly any loose balls were bowled, and the Embassy batters had a hard time scoring runs, so much so in fact no boundaries were scored in their innings.

Not so much the wickets (Yusry, Nigel, Shahir, Vik chipping in), but the overall bowling performance in terrible conditions, backed up by lively good-natured chat in the field was probably the most pleasing thing to see out there. Seeing how much Line chat many of us engage in, this year it’s time to take that out on to the field. The fielding was also pretty good considering the waterlogged conditions, Nige pulling of a direct hit and Luke managing to cling on to the bar of soap. The soaked conditions did allow for plenty of comedy too, Jamie pulling out one of the most spectacular arse-over-tits ever, Koolhof repeatedly getting splashed in the face (much to Nige’s obvious jealousy), and as the game wound down Ev roved around the outfield (and infield) taking snaps of everyone.

The margin of victory was comfortable, the conditions for the post-match barbecue less so, so it was decided that we would retreat under Dino’s bridge, the same bridge from under which he comments on cricket. Special mentions to everyone who helped out with the food which was superb, and a suitably boozy van ride back to Tokyo ended up with Ken disappearing into the night on his bike, and others disappearing into Shibuya…


  • We’re so vocal when we’re drunk – Patmore
  • Nigel – “I like it on my face, it feels good”
  • Koolhof – “Yeah, but that’s cos Evan’s not a batsman”

Great Moments in Sport

  • Mopping the field so that we could play.
  • Patmore making every effort to soil Kooly
  • Jamie & ken sword fighting
  • Patmore’s reverse sweep for 4 bits
  • Nigel’s direct hit runout…
  • Jimmi watching too much WC and swatting a head high full toss over the keeper.
  • Old mate from the embassy taking one to the meat and 2 veg!
  • Jamie Payne breaking his Fuji drought on the 58th ball and raising the bat
  • At least 2 wombats fielding in ear muffs!

 Golden Thong

  • Dino – leaving the trophy behind in the car
  • Tomei Expressway – 4 hours to get to Fuji and over 2 hours just to get to Atsugi!

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