SHARKS SINK WOMMIES

by Vikram Ragunathan

It was a bright sunny saturday after a few weeks of terrible weather and the Wombats headed by Patmore arrived on time for their first game of the season against arch rivals Chiba Sharks. We had three newbies donning the wombats cap for the first time and the usual suspects.

Thanks to Naren, for putting his hand up for 12th man. With the sharks beating the wombats just once in the past twelve years, the wommies definitely had the psychological upper hand. We won the toss and decided to put the sharks in to bat first.

We started off the bowling attack with Nige and Tom. Both bowled a pretty tight spell with Tom striking early. The next change was Jimmi the freight train and Chula. The golden wombat struggled a bit with the line and length which was pretty unusual. Maybe he was a bit frustrated by the harsh wide calls from the umpires. He was a bit expensive and managed to finish his spell with no wickets. Chula bowled a very controlled spell, showing us not everyone bowls wides; with occasional fiery stares at the batsmen. Once he managed to take out the Sharks’ main batsman, the wombats were confident of limiting the sharks for a meagre total.

The bowling attack continued with Rasika and Yusry. As usual, the Sri Lankan express started off with high notes taunting the batsman and securing an early wicket, while Rasika took two. After this spell the express derailed and went off to the tents to rest and he was substituted by Naren for the rest of the innings. Then koolhof was brought in to continue the attack. He managed to hit the pads of the batsmen but had to beg the umpire to give it out. Not sure why it took such a long time for him to give it out even though it didnt look that doubtful. He finished the spell with three wickets and Rony chipped in to take out the last batsman. In the end, the wombats bowled out the sharks for 132 runs. Nigel’s bowling has to be highlighted for the five overs bowled for just 7 runs, which were all apparently extras. For a change Rony decided to take a catch, a tough one when the sun was in his eyes.

Faced with a comfortable target I decided that I wouldn’t have to pad up and even changed my clothes. Patmore together with Tom opened the innings for the wombats. Patmore didn’t waste any time and was in the pavilion before too long. We lost the wickets of Jimmi and Chula in quick succession. Both were given lbw and Sanchetti was celebrating three wickets already. Wombats still had hopes when Luke walked out and we were confident that he would build a partnership with Tom and take us home. The bad omen of umpires & lbw still continued though. He has been given out several times lbw even though he hits the ball. The same continued and he was back in the pavilion too.

There was a brief partnership between Rasika and Tom and there was some light at the other end of the tunnel. Tom smashed a couple of boundaries and a six. Rasika chipped in and slapped one to the boundary. The dream was short lived when Tom was bowled by Sanchetti followed by the run out of Vik. In walked Yusry and thats when things started heating up. He smashed two huge sixes and the Lankan duo tried to build a partnership but Rasika was bowled followed by Rony. It was Koolhof’s chance to score the highest runs for batsman number 11 but a bad call for a single ended up the short stint with Yus’ run-out and the wombats were all wrapped for just 65.

The Sharks clinched their second victory against the wombats. A shout out for Yusry for the generous supply of ailment/liquid courage. The wommies were able to wash down the sorrow with a few brewskis and some good laughs on Koolhof’s dummy spit/racist comments and look forward to a great tournament.

• I don’t like black guys. I prefer white men with tattoos – says Koolhof after being asked what kind of pornographic material he likes.
• You can’t leave Japan before the finals – Koolhof to Tom, apparently it was our first game for the season and Tom’s first for the wombats.

Catches

• Jimmi takes it on his chest.
• Rony catching one for a change

Dropped catches

• Chula at slip

Great Moments in Sport

• 12 guys sticking around at the ground for a drink and chat long after the Sharks had buggered off.
• Yusry’s straight drives & two big sixes.
• Tom’s cover drive.

Dummy Spit

• Holy f*ck!!! I am on the boundary screaming my lungs out: Says Koolhof after Patmore said he doesn’t talk during the game.