- Match Report
BIG DAY OUT WEST
by Peter Hosking
And so it was, and so it shall be written; that the valorous shall gather to the west in wait of the steel chariot that would purvey them to their destination. Unperturbed by the delay the faithful mounted the conveyance and began their trek.
As Whippitus Uranus herded the flock first toward, then around the ominous Fuji Sanus, joviality was at its minimum. A caesura was taken to gather forage and relieve one’s self of sin and other build up. A descendant of the Jurassic age found it an opportune time to release some hostages, which delayed the continuance for some light years. The Spacious One was perusing the written word, from which he could gather no enlightenment and the one with fire in his hair, was leading a sermon of debauchery.
Captain Courtonius accordance of path taking went unheeded and we were, albeit briefly, taken from the path of righteousness. This was quickly corrected as we received word from above, Biju the Brave had made contact and we were once again on the correct path.
Finally we reached our Mecca, to be greeted by our brothers Enginros Indianas and the bearded one.
OK HERE WE GO.
A toss was had, this time not by Jarrad and the Engineers elected to bat.
The Wombats opened with Smokin Pete, who’s perfectly mapped out run-up had been thrown away by Alex (gee, what’s a white marker doing stuck in the ground???) never to find it again. Pete bowled with very little penetration, a little like his sex life, although he did have one catch dropped and he was replaced, a bit like his home life.
From the other end (yes, they have another end at this ground), Andy in his first game picked up a wicket when Spacey wandered into the path of a projectile, thinking he might have been related to the occupants, he calmly plucked it out of the sky.
Alex, the Arm replaced Pete and his marker and hit the spot from ball one (no one moved HIS run up), giving the Indians all sorts of trouble. Down the other end, Andy had lost his way a little, though still bowling with pace, he was spraying more than a soggy biscuit game at Pentridge Prison. He was replaced by the Space man. Spacey was his usual honest self, placing the ball on the spot and tempting the opposition to hit him. He soon had one popping a catch to mid on and the Indians were beginning to tumble.
Enter Paul. We had seen a bit of Paul in the nets but weren’t sure what he would produce on game day, well, produce he did. When Chuck brilliantly set the trap at first slip, he had his first wicket with his first ball for the Wombats. He went on to have another bloke caught in the same brilliant position in the very next over. The Indians falling all out for a miserable 82.
The Wombats needing 83 to win got off to a very solid start with Paul and Chuck putting on half the score for the first wicket partnership and then it began.
After the first wicket fell the Wombats started going down like 21st Century Club hostesses. Eventually Andy and Pete saw them safely over the line with 15 odd overs to spare.
It was decided to have another 20 over game and this time we batted first and made 87, with solid performances by Brett, Smoker and Jarrad before he was given out LBW (stiff as the honeymooners).
Wombats gave everyone a run with the ball in the second stanza and while there were some good signs, the Indians got the runs quite easily. All in all a good hit out for the Wombats and we now look forward to the real games coming up.
THE TRIP HOME
Due to the absolute mayhem that was created on the bus on the way home, the Wombats have decided to leave most details out. Here is a text of the call of the last kilometer.
And as they enter the home stretch, the Captain is looking tired as he weaves in an out of the traffic, the President is on the phone apologizing to his girlfriend and Tomoko is creating havoc with the CD player. Around another bend they go and OH OH we may have lost a load as the window went down, NO, NO its OK, just a velocity check, Luke changes chairs to put Andy next to the window, Pete trying to balance on a makeshift seat, the Russian just got Jarrad’s take the sand to the ocean Joke, Paul, laughing at the craziness of it all and Tim wondering what the hell he was doing there.
Around the second last bend and OHHH we nearly lost it again, but he held on to the reins, Spacey sitting quietly at the back of the pack and Brett singing brilliant lines to the TUNES.
The last 50 meters and he holds on, we turn into the driveway, he holds on, Chuck hits the finish line and OOHHHHHH GOOOOD he lets go like the Biafrin Tug a War team. As the judges look at the photo finish, yes it is confirmed, Andy, Black Nikka, The Cave, has been adjudged the winner by a carrot.