Final Update for 2005

by Ian Gason

If I have one more well-meaning Pom tell me “it’s great for cricket”, I reckon I might just snap his noggin with me MRF! Great for cricket? Losing The Ashes? What? Alright, I suppose the cricket was close, the games exciting, the series was alive until the final session on the fifth day of the Fifth Test. I suppose there are hundreds of little Johnnies and Ahmeds out there pestering their dads for the latest $300 size 4 Grey-Nich…….BUT WE LOST THE F****KING ASHES!!! In the year 2050 when the poms are still harping on about this, tell me then it’s good for cricket. Well, it was good for The Clubhouse and good for the Wombats, too. Good crowds let us run raffles, sweeps, bet on Ian Bell failing (thanks Peter!). Problem is, Ponting can’t so much as LOOK at a bat these days without me chasing after you guys saying, “I’m running a book on…..” Seriously though, it’s a good fundraiser, a good chance for someone to win some Hardys.

How about Jarrad’s wedding? Mate, you could have shaved that silly piece of bum-fluff off your chin just once, couldn’t you? A truley U-beaut day, featuring a Bobby Phillips-like run by Chunky to get from Harajuku to the wedding in an hour. Etsuko looked a treat, we all got to dig up some dirt on the big fella. Zulu as MC-translator stunned everyone with a voice reminiscent of a Art Museum narrator. After the big bash, which saw a few tears, Pete drinking oolong tea (Do it!), it was back to the hotel, where things really got silly.

The bathtub was brimming with piss (thanks Hardys) and the room was bursting at the seams, and by 6 o’clock we had our first complaint. Skipping thru the details, Anton and Mark’s match plans came unstuck, as did Etsuko, as she tackled a bottle of Jack with the kind of vigour and committment I wouldn’t mind seeing at Arden Street next year. She confessed her true love for new hubby, “Jarrad, he’s so fucking pissweak!” before passing out.

It will be hard to top that, but I reckon The Presentation Night could just do it! Host The Freak Ray will help you all remember those things you’d rather forget, and Jarrad will do the Golden Wombat countdown where we award our cricketer of the year. Get your replies into AXE a.s.a.p. and bring your better half too. The more the merrier.

The Japan Cup is Nov 27th. Keep your eyes on ya emails for details, but the Wommies and Goannas grab the best spot, on the inside of the track, between the big screen and the winning post. More of us are going each year, and we can expect another great turnout from the Aussies.

The ICC “super” series was a super fizzer, and next up we have The Windies, then the Saffers, then the 237 game VB series. Pete’ll open up for the day-nighters, but not the Tests. Aussie venture to SA next, so we can expect so evening cricket with day matches starting around 5 or 6pm. Someone get that book running!

The Chiang Mai Sunday arvo “get drunk for the wommies” day WILL happen. Stay Tuned!!

Plenty of sports to get you through the winter. I’ll be freezing me nuts off somewhere in the Middle East, having a great time while yous blokes are at work. I will see the smarter Wombats in Chiang Mai, and the rest of you soon after.

Until then ‘oooroo, Curls