by Ian Gason
If I have one more well-meaning Pom tell me “it’s great for cricket”, I reckon I might just snap his noggin with me MRF! Great for cricket? Losing The Ashes? What? Alright, I suppose the cricket was close, the games exciting, the series was alive until the final session on the fifth day of the Fifth Test. I suppose there are hundreds of little Johnnies and Ahmeds out there pestering their dads for the latest $300 size 4 Grey-Nich…….BUT WE LOST THE F****KING ASHES!!! In the year 2050 when the poms are still harping on about this, tell me then it’s good for cricket. Well, it was good for The Clubhouse and good for the Wombats, too. Good crowds let us run raffles, sweeps, bet on Ian Bell failing (thanks Peter!). Problem is, Ponting can’t so much as LOOK at a bat these days without me chasing after you guys saying, “I’m running a book on…..” Seriously though, it’s a good fundraiser, a good chance for someone to win some Hardys.
How about Jarrad’s wedding? Mate, you could have shaved that silly piece of bum-fluff off your chin just once, couldn’t you? A truley U-beaut day, featuring a Bobby Phillips-like run by Chunky to get from Harajuku to the wedding in an hour. Etsuko looked a treat, we all got to dig up some dirt on the big fella. Zulu as MC-translator stunned everyone with a voice reminiscent of a Art Museum narrator. After the big bash, which saw a few tears, Pete drinking oolong tea (Do it!), it was back to the hotel, where things really got silly.
The bathtub was brimming with piss (thanks Hardys) and the room was bursting at the seams, and by 6 o’clock we had our first complaint. Skipping thru the details, Anton and Mark’s match plans came unstuck, as did Etsuko, as she tackled a bottle of Jack with the kind of vigour and committment I wouldn’t mind seeing at Arden Street next year. She confessed her true love for new hubby, “Jarrad, he’s so fucking pissweak!” before passing out.
It will be hard to top that, but I reckon The Presentation Night could just do it! Host The Freak Ray will help you all remember those things you’d rather forget, and Jarrad will do the Golden Wombat countdown where we award our cricketer of the year. Get your replies into AXE a.s.a.p. and bring your better half too. The more the merrier.
The Japan Cup is Nov 27th. Keep your eyes on ya emails for details, but the Wommies and Goannas grab the best spot, on the inside of the track, between the big screen and the winning post. More of us are going each year, and we can expect another great turnout from the Aussies.
The ICC “super” series was a super fizzer, and next up we have The Windies, then the Saffers, then the 237 game VB series. Pete’ll open up for the day-nighters, but not the Tests. Aussie venture to SA next, so we can expect so evening cricket with day matches starting around 5 or 6pm. Someone get that book running!
The Chiang Mai Sunday arvo “get drunk for the wommies” day WILL happen. Stay Tuned!!
Plenty of sports to get you through the winter. I’ll be freezing me nuts off somewhere in the Middle East, having a great time while yous blokes are at work. I will see the smarter Wombats in Chiang Mai, and the rest of you soon after.
Until then ‘oooroo, Curls
|EVERY THURSDAY EVE — THE PALACE RUN
|Join Axe, Zulu and The Goannas FC for a wee 5km run around The Imperial Shack. More and more blokes and blokettes are making the run, so if you’re in the area, do yourself a favour!
|TBA — CHIANG MAI VIDEO AND FUNDRAISING PISS-UP
|A fund-raising Sundary arvo on the piss, drinking our way to Chiang Mai. Pete will open up and let us raise money to send our squad to the land of smiles. Features our match videos from this year!!
|NOVEMBER 1ST — THE MELBOURNE CUP
|Whatever you do, don’t get stuck in a Mumbai internet cafe like I did in ’04 – GET INTO THE CLUBHOUSE!! Make an excuse, slip out of the office and saddle up to the bar. TAB online, sweeps, bet on two flies walking up a wall. Just get in!
|NOVEMBER 19TH — THE PRESENTATION NIGHT
|Back at The Clubhouse again. A glamour night, hosted by Luke Ray and featuring the Golden Wombat countdown (thanks Jarrad). Remember that catch you dropped back in April? No? Well, WE DO! Culminates in the coveted Golden Thong presentation by Zulu.
|NOVEMBER 27TH — JAPAN CUP, FUCHU RACECOURSE
|Burkey, Shax, and Smoker will be leading the pack of punters to Japan’s premiere race. C’mon Aussies, let’s show these Tokyo-ites about a day at the races. Wombats and Goannas will be out in number, and will have the best possie in the house.
|JAN/FEB TBA — WOMBATS AGM
|Seems like we have just packed the whites away and yet it times to begin the 2006 season. Important business to be done, so please make it down. Chance of a shandy or two after the business is done.
|APR 2ND – 8TH, 2006 — THAILAND’S CHIANG MAI SIXES
|Tokyo Wombats’ second overseas tour, to the world’s premier sixes tournament. This years squad features 4 recidivists and 4 newcomers – Chuck, Smoker, Kyal, and Luke. A great laugh, great cricket. If you can’t join us, keep an eye and ear on the web for match broadcsts.