by Ian Gason
The largest gathering of Wombats outside Japan, and the largest anywhere since the Kobe tours of 20 years ago, took place in Chiang Mai, Thailand. 11 veterans of the legendary 5-premiership era joined regular Chiang Mai Sixes mates to form two teams: Tokyo Oyajis and Tokyo Dingbats.
Steven Burke’s 50th birthday was the excuse to get on the plane. Steve brought 3 mates from his Langwarrin CC, taking the touring party to 18. This was a remarkable achievement, given that the Tokyo Wombats/Dingbats came close to giving up when numbers got down to three. 11 of us came via Bangkok, and 7 straight into C Mai. What could possibly go wrong?
Andy Hall missing his flight by 24 hours? Max Coombes, who actually lives in C Mai, so you’d think he’d be reliable, got the dates wrong? Zulu being himself?
OK, how about a magnitude 7.7 earthquake hitting the team hotel just as some of us are checking in? Two stayed. Two fled, and two went straight to another hotel. Broken doors, leaking pool, busted tiles, cracked walls, holes in ceilings, somehow the place was patched up enough, only just, for the rest of us to check-in on the Saturday.
And yet, a M7.7 quake would get overshadowed by events of the week.
The social side of the CM6s is usually more important than the cricket. 5-over matches don’t take long, leaving plenty of time for quiet beverages after the games. And after a week of quiet beverages, some begin to fall; others limp. Over the years, we’ve probably had 4-6 hospital visits, but never two in a year, and only ever outpatient. Never had one admitted before, and never into an ICU!
We also saw a big-talking, hard-drinking man lock his door for two days and refuse to come out. And upon emerging, claim he was never drinking again.
To be fair to Zulu, many of the things he lost over the week, some multiple times, did come back to him. His bat for example. His whites, one of his socks. But not his phone, many of his room keys, his shoes. And he only slept through one game all week.
And he was not alone. Max, messed up work dates and missed the first half, was then given the Monkey (think of a daily Golden Thong) after his first day on tour. Last seen out with Zulu playing Connect Four for [redacted]. Max woke up after his second game with no Spank The Monkey. Losing the team mascot!
The Russian, Alex Koolhof, the man whose waku-waku email to the boys over a year ago kicked this beastly tour into being, saved his best til last, getting dragged out to clubs until 5am before finals’ day, hitting the breakfast table a gibbering idiot on no sleep, rabbitting on nonsensically about [actually, I have no idea what he was saying].
Given all the carry-on and misadventures, Grumpy J Shearer and Shovels were comparatively normal. We had fellas recreating scenes from The Hangover- being found asleep in cordoned off parts of the hotel, and getting drunken tattoos- anyone got a tiger in their room? There was a lot of creative ways to do tequila shots from one fella (who, cos he writes this shit, will remain anonymous). There was one fella pull up to the ground in a tuk-tuk, just as the substitute was pulling his whites on (again, having filled in the day before) go on to play a blinder. Another fella topped the week off by waking up in the hotel garden without kit bag, wallet, a large amount of cash or any idea how he’d got there.
And in between all that, 7 days of cricket.
The Tokyo Oyajis: Steve Burke (c) joined by his Langwarrin mates Azza, Hungry and Thai, as well as Jarrad Shearer, Alex The Russian, Kyal Hill, and 5 time premiership captain, Chuck Jones. A serious collection of cricket talent, their tour began with big-talking Shane Jack getting stumped first ball of the match to a 70-year-old pie-chucker! There was some magnificently clean hitting, some very prompt retirements (30 runs) and one tournament highlight caught and bowled by the lumbering Tasmanian. 3 from 3 in the first stage, the Oyajis played in the Bowl (3rd of the 5 divisions). Their progress was made more difficult by the absences of up to 3 members at a time, but 1 second stage win from two got them into the semis. Unfortunately, that is where their week ended, when an abundance of batting was found lacking in the bowling department.
The Tokyo Dingbats: Ian Gason (c) joined by regulars Andy Hall, Max Coombes (C Mai via HK and Durham), Fast Eddie and Shovels (Adelaide) and semi-regular Wombat tourists Zulu, Phil Walker and Paul Shax. A convenient result of 2 wins from 3 put us in our usual spot, the Plate (4 of 5 divs). Max’s return from Bangkok got us a bonus point win in our next game, enough to secure a semi berth. (Just as well, as we went down in the next while Max was sleeping off a big night.) Saturday finals action began at 9:15, and with some big hitting (70+ runs in 5 overs) and some disciplined bowling, Dingbats were into their 4th plate final in a row. 30s to Max and Andy in the final gave us a good chance, and despite a few shaky moments, we held our nerve with some good death bowling and fielding to take out 3rd trophy in 4 years.
More than runs and trophies and semi-finals, this week was about mates. It was of course a pleasure to see old mates on the field reminding us how good good cricket looks. While I had seen most of the guys here and there over the years, catching up in one of my favourite cities for my favourite week was incredible. But better than that was watching these guys catching up with each other after too many years apart. When the sun went down (and usually, long before it went down) it was just all about having a laugh, getting natsukashi, getting silly, reliving and embellishing the past, and maybe, just maybe, making plans to do it all again.
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