WOMBATS DERAIL INDIAN'S PACIFIC.
vs IECC (PACIFIC CUP FINAL -- Shizuoka -- 21 Nov, 2004)
by Ian Gason
The Tokyo Wombats finished their 2004 season the way it began, with a stong victory over Indian Engineers at Shizuoka, taking out the 4-team Pacific Cup at its first attempt. Under clear winter skies, Engineers' score of 7/158 (35 overs) was chased down for the loss of 4 wickets, with 7 overs to spare.
Unlike the last time these two old rivals met - Koiwa mid-year - the dramas, comedies and throwing of toys was largely confined to off-field activities.
And unlike last time, tinkering with the batting order didn't prove our undoing, as we recorded our first ever win in a legit fixture over Biju's boys in 3 years of memorable tussles.
Dramas began with a phone call on the Tomei. It was Jarrad -who else would be calling me at 8am Sunday? Rather than a dummy spit resulting in suspension, this time it was suspension resulting in a dummy spit! Etsuko's car had gone bugger up, and a quick pit-stop at Fuji was needed to rectify the situation. Inside the car, Mr & Mrs Shearer, fresh off the plane from Perth, must have been teary-eyed, seeing their boy Jarrad was just the same after all these years.
Promises that he'd be there at 10:30 in time to start were ignored, and we instead worried about how to tell a hungover Zulu he'd have to stand in as 'keeper. Thankfully, The Indians were more ship-shape and had the ground ready to go. After a quick reminder from Robert about parking regulations, Wombats lost the toss and took to the field, using a borrowed ball.
Mind you, even if he hadn't forgotten a new pill, Jarrad still wasn't there anyway.
As always, it was Curly from the Car Park, and Big Al from the Lone Tree end. Tight bowling was met with tight batting from Vimal and Viswa. Few runs were conceded in the opening spells, and just one chance was given.
With the score on next to nothing, Vimal flicked one of mine to the normally safe Rob Mann at short mid wicket for a regulation chance. Lucky we've had the Presentation Night already Rob, as Vimal top-scored with 46.
The openers began to accelarate after the first changes. Despite bowling a good fast 4 overs, Reggie finished with 0-34. After umpire Robert didn't call dead-ball for an unprepared Vimal, the batsman took his anger out on Axe's next ball, spanked cross bat over mid-off for 6. The arrival of the Shearer family was in no way related to the fall of the first wicket, as Papa Steve turned and hit from mid wicket to run out Viswa for 33, ending a 72 run stand.
With shutter-bug Shax rested for the clash, dibbly-dobbly duties fell to Brett Pollard. On a day when rubbish half-trackers were rewarded rather than punished, Brett bowled well AND got wickets. First he had #3 Anupum plum as they come for a quacker, and later had opener Vimal caught by Chuck for 46. Some rough treatment from Indian big-gun Ashok left him with 2-26 after 6.
Rob Mann experimented with the indiscriminate use of WMDs, before he shortened his run-up for immediate results, with a catch to Jarrad. The day's biggest wicket came on possibly the day's dinkiest ball. The agressive Nari Ram's first ball was an innocous piece of leg-side tripe, a ball so bad it sat up and begged to be banished. Instead, Nari's top edge went sky high to fine leg, where Reggie did the rest.
Impressed, Chunky Cosway went the shit-gets-wickets way with a similar ball to dismiss Indian veteran Bobby at square leg. This brought an end to the Indian collapse, as Biju's big-gun Ashok was deployed. Our old friend made merry with Chunky, leaving him with 1-20 from 2. Brett suffered a splash-down, the ball lodging in the mud at the bottom of the Abekawa.
Cap'n Jones went sensibly into damage control mode, doubling up at cow-corner, and turning to the Tasmanians, Alex and Luke. They did a great job of keeping Biju at the action end, leaving Ashok to watch on. After a quick fire 34, which included a fair smattering of boundaries, Ashok fell bowled to Alex. With all the wommies gee-ing him up, The Body Koolhoff sent his last ball down for the Wombats. It was dispatched in between cow-corners #1 and #2, and despite the despearte head-first lunge into the rocks by Little Richard, the ball rolled back onto the road for an inappropriate end to his 23 wicket season.
Paired up with his old mate for the first time since backyard days, Luke Ray was given the unenviable task of bowling to Ashok at the death, with wickets in hand. Personally, I was glad I'd bowled my 7 overs through, but Rayos rose to the challenge, and came through with shining colours. As ever the run-saver in the field, The Freak finished with 0-18 from 5 overs, to restrict IECC to just 7/158. Wombats thought we had a run out off the last ball, but it was dis-allowed by Robert, who came in for some questioning by a dissenting wicket keeper.
At lunch we were left to wonder how Mrs Shearer could sledge so well, and yet her son Jarrad after 27 years of cricket, can still do no better than lame offerings about clue shops and pianos. Inspired by Glenn McGrath, the man he denies is his biological father, Alex said "I want to bat up the order" and was given the all important #3 slot. Brett and Tugga went out to do battle with Ashok and Nari, while the rest of listened to stories of Jarrad's earliest bat-throwing adventures.
Perhaps the Indians had over-indulged at Depvali, as they were not their usually menacing selves. Aided by a Parthiv Patel impersonator and some wayward bowling, the openers added 23, before Brett fended a short ball from Nari for a simple catch.
The Body didn't disapoint, playing some lush drives, some so good he chose to stand and admire his work rather than run! Unaccustomed to batting outside a net, Al almost cost Tugga his wicket in a mix-up, but Parthiv failed to gather the ball. Tugga's luck did run out on 14 when he tried to pull a Sandeep ball into the drink, but the ball kept low and he was castled. (2/52) Golden Thong winner Chuck joined the Golden Wombat winner Alex. After minutes of patiently knocking in his MRF, a bat with more meat than a backyard barbie, the captain endured a monotonous two dot balls before effortlessly sending Sandeep into the vicinity of Lone Tree for a 6 every bit as big as the one I saw Sachin put onto the roof of Wankhede. (Well, almost.)
While the fielders searched for a ball which they never found, Chuck checked for dents, which he never found. Inspired, he raced to 20 in 8 balls, before a top-edge scare brought him back to earth. Fellow golden boy Alex drove through the covers, calling 'SHOT' as the ball raced away for 4. Next ball though it was the Indian doing the talking, when he holed out to Biju for 14. (3/91)
Chunky Cosway combined with Chuck for a 26 run partnership, contributing 8 before he was removed by Vimal. (4/117 after 22) The Shearers were then given the chance to see their boy in action, or in-action as Brenda would have it. Biju turned to his opening duo to try and remove the Sandgropers, but it was in vain. Chuck's 50 came up in 37 balls with a boundary, but Golden Thong safely in hand, Chuck declined to show us a Gillespie-style Happy Gilmour bat-riding celebration.
With his dear Mum's careful words of encouragement ("Stop BLOCKING and HIT the ball Jarrad!") firing him up, the Prez picked up the pace. As the Wombats neared the target, Jarrad was also nearing 400 runs for the year.
Scorers scrambled to make the calculation, but it appeared he'd need to first level the scores, then hit a boundary. Just as we'd reached this conclusion, Jarrad pulled Ashok into the gateball ground for 6 to win the game. Chuck finished not out on 58, Jarrad 23, leaving him on 398 runs for the year.
Thanks to the other Clubs (IECC, BECC and Kytes) for inviting us to join the comp. We appreciate being taken seriously in the cricketing community.
Thanks again to Robert and Neil for umpiring, and to all the Indians for getting the ground ready. Thanks of course to Andre and Brenda Shearer for moulding the unique individual we know and love as 'Grumpy'.
KIWI CAT CLAWS KYTES IN PACIFIC POUNDING.
vs Shizuoka Kytes (PACIFIC CUP -- Shizuoka -- 24 Oct, 2004)
by Ian Gason
Tokyo Wombats have advanced to the final of The Pacific Cup after a 183 run flaying of Shizuoka Kytes. Initially it appeared a post-Premiership hangover would be our undoing, but Wombats recovered on the strength of debutant Snappy Tim Whisker's 57, posting 7/223, before sending the Kytes packing for a meagre 39.
Jarrad Shearer gave young Arthur Harrison an early birthday present in the 2nd over, when he top edged one from whatshisname with the Ponytail. The lad moved swifty around from short fine leg to take a good running catch. At Lone Tree End, Matt Sharpe had the ball swinging like a tree in a typhoon.
After two weeks of padding up in vain, Shax was promoted to number 3, and whilst he was able to survive the hungover one, Dr Dave was not. Sharpie's wedding present for the Doc was one that honed in from way out side off to total his timber. Sharpie almost totalled himself as he fell in his follow through, but the way in which he rolled suggested that he has probably fallen over more times than you've had hot dinners.
At 2/7, our new found Wombat, Snappy Tim was probably thinking these Wombats were dingbats. At square leg, I was wondering if this bloke - whose form guide read "met Little Richard, Magambos, early morning" - could play or not.
Tugga and Magambos are two things in which I trust, and it was only two balls before my faith was repaid. Mr Ponytail overpitched one, and Tim picked it up and tapped it over the bowlers head and into the carpark for 6.
That was enough to convince not only me, but also Paul Shax, who was happy to play a supporting role in this vital partnership. Tim took the ugly stick to Sharpie's previously impeccable figures, forcing Neil to turn to his ring-in, Rob McKenna. (Come to Chiang Mai, Rob, and I'll never call you a ring-in again.) Our big cat turned the tables on the Japan coach, handing him a cricketing lesson of his own, sending 3 balls to the boundary in his first over.
At the Car Park End, Wombats had milked the wide cow dry, and Larry's spin was introduced. Tim immediately sought out the banished bowler at point, where a picture perfect Harbour Bridge resulted in four more. Twice by the time Larry had removed Shax with a yorker, Wombats had steadied to 3-71.
Smoking' Pete came to the crease, told Tim off for ruining the Y500 whites he'd lent him, and let him know that if he made a 50, or came to the Golden Gai on Friday, all would be forgiven. A fair man, the veteran Vic gave his trans-Tasman brother the strike, and supported him through a 35 run partnership, before himself falling victim to a Larry yorker.
Larry made it 3fa when he claimed Tim with, you guessed it, a yorker. Last week's Hardys' winner, Rob Mann went out to join his captain in the middle, and took to the bowling like a duck to water. Rob McKenna soon took to the water, after Chucky pulled a splash-down six. Full marks again to Arthur Harrison, who ignored Rob's request to go wading in the chilly Abekawa to recover the ball.
Shizuoka had no weapon in its armoury to dent the deadly duo of Jones & Mann, who took the score onto 170, before, one shot short of his 50, a visibly unhappy Chuck Jones was ruled caught behind by umpire Grumpy. I went out to join Axe, and managed to see off the hungover one, and get myself up to the safer end of the pitch. Axe was soon the second Wombat raising his bat for the day, recording his first 50 for the Club. Twice he drove uppishsly back at Sharpie, who feeling not so sharp this day, was unable to move quick enough to take the offerings.
The day's first comical run-out ended Rob's fine dig, when he turned one down to fine leg, and voices from above commanded we take a second. I thought it looked dicey, but as I wasn't going to the danger end, I soldiered on, waiting for the retreat order which never came. Probably because Axe was busy falling over as he turned.
Andy Hall, minus that silly blue hat, got his Tusker back off Tim, and we saw out the last few overs. My first four of the season came off the innings' final ball, a full toss on leg from Larry. Wombats 7/223, a challenging score indeed.
The challenge would soon prove too much for Kytes. McKenna opened the innings with Joel Chamberlain, and me and Big Al opened the attack for the Wombats. 3rd over, I rapped Big Joel on the pads, and although every other Wombat went up, I did not. The umpire agreed with the other ten, and sent an unhappy Kyte on his bike. Neil Harrison resisted until the 8th, when after a fair duel with the bowlers, a swing and a miss went from his pads to his stumps.
Big Al, 0-4 from 3 overs, was unceremoniously dragged, and Regan Dawson bowled his first over for the year, where he claimed the big wicket of Rob McKenna. A inauspicious half-tracker was pulled to a waiting Whisker, who made no mistake. Matt Sharpe was rustled from his slumber and soon strategized his way to the Graeme Wood Running Between The Wickets Award. He smacked towards the mid wicket fence and thinking he had 4, was in no mood for wasting his dwindling energy on running. The ball stopped dead in its tracks, and the batsmen belatedly jogged a step or two before realizing that Snappy Tim had snapped up the ball and they were up the Abekawa without a paddle.
Sharpie was soon back in his dinky yaki-imo van after an audacious swing at Reggie ended his day. 4 of Kytes' top 6 registered ducks. Resistance came too little too late from the tail, in particular Mr Ponytail and Arthur.
Last time we met the Kytes the young Harrison proved a tough nut to remove, and in the space of a season, we have seen him develop confidence enough to take on the bowlers and play his shots. Neil, do something abou this tennis business.
Snappy Tim's dream debut was marred when his first ball for the Wombats was dropped. This didn't stop him from going on to bag two wickets. As the cavalry arrived in the form of Todd Phillips, the show was well and truely over. By the time Shax wrapped up the innings on 39, the Wombats bowling figures read like a form guide: Welcome Back Reggie 2-5; Snappy Tim 2-8; Curly In Tights 2-8; Wyhalla Warrior and NIKKA one apiece; The Body Koolhoff no wins from 4 starts.
It was a more subued van than the one that cursed the Tomei last week, but not without its' share of shennanigans. Up the back Tim, Chuck and Shax were locked in a deadly discussion on the Ultimate XI, and it took some creative toiletry from Smokin' Pete to lure them back to the more usual conversations. Pete had more pressing concerns than the merits of Waqar v Hadlee. "Tim, mate, forget the bloody pants. Are we on for Friday?".
Wombats wish our man from Calcutta, Dr Dave Bera, and his wife-to-be, Tanya all the best for their wedding. May you enjoy a long and happy partnership.
Neil and all the Kytes, thanks for the game. Thouroughly enjoyed it, and we look forward to our next encounter. See if you can't get Todd out of bed next time though.
GLORIOUS, VICTORIOUS!!
vs Lalazar (Shizuoka --- KCL GrandFinal (div 2) -- Oct 17th, 2004)
By Ian Gason
Wombats defeat Lalazar to lift Kanto Cup!
The Tokyo Wombats CC have been crowned Premiers of the Kanto Cricket League (Div 2) after inflicting a heavy defeat upon a previously undefeated Lalazar, at Shizuoka. Batting first, Wombats' yield of 4/201 from 40 overs was too much for Lalazar, who were bundled out for 111. The win was the culmination of 3 years of hard work for the Club, and was anchored by Club veterans Skipper Chuck and Prez Jarrad.
The Wombats' Road To Glory was stalled at Harajuku for over 30 minutes by a delay of the intergalactic kind, and when the wagon was finally put in motion, I drove with speed and determination that was later sadly lacking from my bowling. Despite accuracy (lack thereof) which was later reflected on the pitch, I had the lads at the ground on time, more or less.
Chuck won the toss, and he and Jarrad padded up and headed into battle.
Jarrad survived an early scare, when an edge fell frighteningly short of Lalazar's new found 'keeper. That moment aside, the two West Aussies constructed the foundations for the Wombats innings, giving nothing away.
They kept their heads rather than worry about the run-rate, which was initially dragging around the 3/over mark. A smattering of big hits interspersed a constant trickle of singles all around the ground, making life difficult for the opposing capatin's field.
An eerie silence took over the Lalazar field, only interrupted by the annoying sounds of Zulu breaking in his new Slazenger. Wombat supporters where given a few opportunities to cheer, as a few more boundaries pushed score up to 90 without loss at drinks. On the sidelines we where wondering when the push would come, and how much 'enough' would be on the slow but small Abekawa ground. (178 according to Robert. Not 180, or 175....)
Shortly after the break, after setting a Wombats 1st wicket partnership record, Jarrad felll for 39, with the score on 92. Soon he was joined in the pavilion by Chuck (36). Little Richard joined Steve at the crease, and almost immediately the much awaited push was on. Initially Richo was circumspect with the spinners on, but with men in the shed and knowing that it would take air strike to remove Burkey, he let loose. In the blink of an eye he'd racked up 22, and helped change the tempo of the game. Shacksie, padded up, was getting shunted down the order. Again.
Andy Hall was the next man in, and copped his fair share of bruises, each one no doubt catalogued for future reference. Several "leg" byes resulted from thuds to the chest, allowing Burkey the strike. Andy score of 5 doesn't really reflect the true value of his brief innings.
The best was saved to last when Zulu, back from Briz Vegas having missed the semi, joined Mr Equipoise and played a pig hunter of an innings. His second scoring shot was murdered into the vicinity of the shithouse for 6, and another was put across the road. A few deft dabs through the vacant 2nd slip area resulted in twos. Meanwhile, at the other end, Burkey had compiled 50 with all the urgency of a pensioner collecting his morning paper. Not to be outdone by the young upstart, he too had a few hoiks up his sleeve. One lofted straight drive into the lone tree was followed by a savage shot back at the bowler which had umpire Rob McKenna scampering for cover and lucky to be alive.
The pair added 40 runs in the final 4 overs, taking the score from a run of the mill 160 to a challenging 201. Equalling importantly, they snatched the momentum of the game and performed a psychological battering on Lalazar, one from which they would struggle to recover.
Wombats ever reliable opening pair, myself and The Body Koolhoof, were certainly not reliable ever today, and not only failed to get the early breakthrough but allowed Lalazar to skip away into the 20s in 4 overs.
Seeing one opener falling across his stumps, I switched to around, and although failed to get a wicket, at least put a halt to the runs. Captain Jones sensed now was the time to change and brought Spacey into the attack at the Lone Tree end, and he was promptly dispatched way, way, WAY across the river and into another time zone.
Spacey soon had his revenge, when one of the openers played an idiotic shot, stepping across his stumps, attempting to lift him over square leg and getting himself very, very leg before. The original and best WMD Rob Mann came on at the Car Park end, and soon induced a momentary lapse of reason, as a top edge went stratospheric and into the waiting hands of Jarrad Shearer. With the help of the square leg ump, who pointed out there was one to come, Rob castled one for his second wicket of the over.
Battered and bruised, NIKKA came on for Spacey, and put in his best performance of the year. In the space of a few overs before drinks he had the prized scalps of Aqeel and Gulzhar (Bollywod) and Fine Cotton, who was displaying signs of a bold personality. Only the quality fo the competition saw him not take out the Hardys' Man Of The Match. Whether or not we would've wasted a good bottle of champagne on NIKKA is another question.
The champagne was flowing for Axe Mann though. Papa looked into his crystal ball, and said to his Skip, "I'm just going over there to cover to catch this bloke." The very next ball, Axe delivered and Burkey was in exactly the right spot to get his safe hands around a rocket. Lalazar 7 down for 70, and the familiar number of '7' was not going to haunt the Wombats this time. Was it?
Prior to drinks, Shax was given one over. I thought it was pretty good, but I'm not captain and Chuck took him off, and gave the openers a chance to redeem themselves. Alex did, though he tried his best to make a meal of another stratospheric top edge. 4 Wombats were close enough to take it, Tugga was the only brave enough to call it, but Big Al it was who got under it. And spilt it. And grabbed it, almost. Calls of "Yeaaahh" were cut off, but just like McGrath, when you thought he couldn't possibly, he held it. A yorker got Al his second, and The Wombats were just one wicket from the Premiership.
My one chance at redemtion was too hot for even Mr Equipoise to hold onto, and I was banished in favour of Axe. The last batsman were determined to make us earn this victory and showed determination and concentration that was so badly lacking in their team-mates. Finally, with the score on 111, Axe sent down the winning ball, which was pulled over square leg into the safe hands of that little magician, Richard.
"Glorious, victorious" was belted out for the first of many times. Somehow between all the singing, beers and air-guitars, we managed to get across the street, where the champagne was popped. Amongst all the highlights - and how good were they - it was Yuki Koolhoff who started the tears flowing. She was not the only one, and was joined by a few of the blokes too. Don't worry, I want name you, Richard, Burkey.....
The Highway To Hell was even more demonic, and things were out of control by the supermarket carpark. Ice fights, more tears, flying shopping trolleys, "anti-drunk repellent". Spacey entered the Golden Thong fray with a rooftop highway piss. "Once a jolly swagman", "Advance Australia Fair" and "True Blue" were given various degrees of punishment, as was the car stereo. Andy had tears in his eyes, possibly due to the windscreen cleaner Zulu got him with. Cap'n Jones was just one big happy camper, belting out his favourite tunes in the front seat. Richo penned another Club song, not fit to repeat here. By the time I had them back in Harajuku the car resembled a bombsite, and popcorn, chips, regurgitated NIKKA whiskey, broken eskies, beer cans (empty and full) poured out the door like.....well, like drunken Wombats really.
It's not every day you win a Grand Final though.
Thanks? Where do we start? Chunky & The Freak, for coming down and being there. Rob and Neil for a superlative umpiring job. Robert for your technicolour wonder work in the scorebook. To Lalazar, not just for the game, but for getting the ground ready. To all the KCL officials. To our sponsors HARDYS & The Clubhouse. To the Shizuoka Tasmanians. To all the girls. If I've forgotten anyone, as I'm sure I have, I apologise. Oh yeah, to Nippon Rentacar.....
WMDS UNLEASHED ON ICHIHARA
vs Ichihara (Fuji II --- KCL Semi final -- Sept 26th, 2004)
by Ian Gason
Lately it seems to be the other way round, but Sunday at Koiwa, the rain stayed away and the opposition turned up, and the Japan Gold Cup Finals' series got under way. Sadly, Wombats have made a first round exit, due to the typically miserly bowling of our nemesis, Sri Lankan Lions.
After six weeks of gathering cobwebs and cancelling renatacars, Wombats did well to dismiss the Lions for 135, on the back of Shaxie's 3fa, but were choked by persistent, precision line and length bowling, and faltered in the death to be dismissed for 115 in the final over.
Chuck went through the formalities of tossing and, sure as night follows day, lost. Wombats took to the field, and me and The Body Koolhoff dueled with the Lions openers. Pads were rapped, balls were pushed past slip, edges weren't found, and an even contest went on for 9 overs. A switch to round the wicket, brought immediate results, as a top edge had 'keeper Shearer bellowing 'MINE' loud enough for Zulu to hear him down in Briz Vegas. Next over, The Body was amongst the wickets, and Lions were 2/39.
Chuck thanked me for the breakthrough by dragging me and bringing on Jim Cole, who bagged himself a Lion first ball, edged pull to Jamie Foster. 3/39. Paul Shax was soon brought in, and his first wicket came 2nd ball. From then on in, neither side was able to clearly dominate. Lions failed to build on starts, with partnerships in the 10s. Wombats got regular wickets, but were unable to get them in quick succession as we would have wanted.
Paul Shax ended the day with 3-16 - and a bottle of Hardys' for his trouble. Little Richard took a Schweppes Classic Catch running in from deep square leg and diving forward to take a pearler. Spacey's call sums it up: you only see those on television. Jamie Foster was in the action again, combining with Papa Steve at the bowlers end for a run out.
Papa was in the action from slip, as a NIKKA wide collected Jarrad's manky toe on its way to a gift run. With Jarrad rolling around in need of euthansia, the batsmen wrongly figured a second was on offing. Papa sized up the situation, shrugged his shoulders and with all the urgency of Brisbane winning a fourth flag, threw down the stumps for a run out.
The innings was closed for 134, a great effort against a side full of strong bats. Misfield were minimal, the only HG was hot as extra strength Tabasco. Extras were by and large contained. We had set ourselves up with a good chance.
Alas, it was not to be, as unfortunately our old foes bowl every bit as well as they bat. Little Richard was first to go, caught behind as snicko belatedly came to life. Papa Smurf joined Dino at the crease, but that partnership didn't last long, as Grumps holed out to deep mid on. Chuck Jones picked up a duck, the only man adjudged LB for the day. Wombats were down, but never out. 100runs short of the target, Smoking Pete said 'Salabas' to his retirement plans and proceeded to earn the moniker 'Lazarus'.
More than just bat v ball, this was to be a contest of the minds. Lions are well known for the tightness of their bowling, and the two seasoned Wombat campaigners played a waiting game. Boundaries would not come, and the pair did a great job of keeping things ticking over. Ones and twos were the order of the day, as Lions bowlers - Mahen, Manura and Udaya - were giving nothing away.
Little by little the run-rate crept, from 3 to 4, and by the 27th over had crept to 5. The boys in the middle knew it was time to go, having patiently constructed a 50 run partnership, but knowing a final spurt for the line was needed. Sadly, the Koiwa pitch produced a skidder, and in the blink of an eye, Lazarus was heading back to the remains of the Jarrad Shearer Memorial Stand.
Victory was attainable, though the Lions never showed any inclination to let us near it. Even Roy, who'd continued his poor run of finals by playing a 2 ball crayfish like innings, wouldn't produce the easy picking we so badly needed. When Papa was finally removed for his 2nd 50 in a row, a 30 ball, 30 run chase was called for. I combined with NIKKA for one 7 run over, keeping our chances alive.
The game was probably won in Roy's next over, as he restricted us to just 2 runs. Boundaries were badly need now, and they surely wouldn't be coming gift wrapped at this stage of the day. Trying to hoik good balls got the better of the Wombats' tail, as NIKKA was bowled, and me and Jamie both got run out trying to manufacture runs.
When The Lions finally wrapped things up in the final over, the margin of victory was a good 20 runs. Such a number doesn't do justice to the brave fight shown by our boys. We'd bowled and fielded well, and restricted a good batting line-up to a gettable total. With runs as hard to find as virgins in GasPanic, Burkey and Pete's efforts must be praised for keeping us in the race. Had one or two swings in the death produced 4s and not dots, who knows.....It seems you could bowl these Lankans out for 25, and they'd still choke you with dot balls. Full marks to them for a well earned victory, and we wish them luck in defending their JGC title.
One area where Wombats will NEVER be outdone is the post-match shenanigans. Reluctantly, Watami let us in, and Wombat-to-be Chris was soon wondering what he'd got himself in for. Chuck as ever lead by example, and a speech slurring President churned out never ending stories. Tugga was probably wishing he'd dropped that catch after a few skulls. Lazarus' Pete was labelled a 'Peaheart' for his retirement talk. Jarrad copped a whole lotta Rosie, learning you should never sledge the Irish. Tomoko Hosking leared the difference between tights and hi-tech sporting leg-wear. Chuckie took the meaning of 'time to piss off' literally, proceeded to fall up the stairs, had to be manhandled away from, you guessed it, the fire extinguisher, and pulled out his customery 'bicycle dive'.
Egged on by Axe's Rosie, Chuck then treated the train to a pole dance, and for Y1000, an exceptionally unartistic strip to the jox and climbed into luggage rack. Dragged down by Ritsuko, the only hit he got all day was the one she superbly delivered to his head. Chuck, you might want to thank her too, for rescuing your shorts from Rosie. Not content, the Chou line got to see him pad up ready for action.
Bigger and better things await The Wombats: KCL semi-final v Ichihara, Sunday 26th at Fuji.
JAPAN FRIENDSHIP CUP
Japan, KCL All Stars, JCA Board XI, and Bagladesh Acadmey, Fuji, Aug 20-22
by Ian Gason
WOMBAT SLEDGING GAINS NATIONAL ATTENTION.
Chuck, Jarrad, Alex, and myself (Curls) were lucky enough to participate in this great weekend of cricket, testing our mettle with not only Japan's best cricketers, but also young and upcoming Bangladeshis, some of whom will one day make the grade as Test cricketers. With perfect views of Fuji-san, a U-beaut curry and 150 cricketing J-shielas on Saturday, what more could a Wombat ask for?
Day One: Board XI v Bangladeshi Academy.
Board XI went in to bat, and a fiery leftie from Bangladesh soon had first blood as a bruised Joel (Kytes) was back in the pavilion. The backbone of the Board innings was our man Jarrad who made his maiden century, highlighted by consecutive 6s in the death. I joined Jarrad for a 60 run 8th wicket stand after a mid innings wobble. All Out 250.
Like a Wombats game, my second ball was dropped at slip. Salt in the wound from Matt, who spilled one at backward square same over. Next over he got one, and so did the recalictrant slip in my next. I grabbed me 2nd with a Little Richard style running belly flop c&b. From 3fa f**all, the teenagers showed great maturity to fightback, and looked like wrestling the game from The Dream Team (that's us, OK?). Another couple of wickets and we looked to be home at 8/150. Again the kids showed that really DO have what it takes to play for their country, by putting together 2 big stands and getting Grumpy grumpy. "Curly, get me a wicket!". So I did, bowled.
The last pair took the score into the 240s before Shariful Islam told Jarrad "Give me just one over". With the other game finished the Bangladeshi treated everyone to a nail-biter, before Matt took a good catch in the deep with just 3 runs to spare.
Day Two: Board XI v Japan.
Japan batted first and started off by handing the Dream Team a fair spanking, helped along by some more poor catching, and run of the mill bowling. Things started turning our way when Ken (Tokyo Bay) started taking wickets (3fa). A couple of run outs and some good bowling from Naem (Friends?) and we had done really well to restrict the national side to 200.
No worries, right? Wrong. Andrew King (British) got The Dinosaur for a duck. Naem went on the attack and had his fifty before we knew it, but couldn't go on with the job.
A couple more wickets thrown away and we had a hole to extract ourselves from. I went out to join Yoshi (Millenium) and stopped the rot. The young Japanese lad was great, valuing his wicket and slowly we approached the top of the hole. Sadly, he didn't middle a loose ball and was caught. A couple of partners came and went til I joined the lemmings on 22. 8fa not enough and eventually a costly loss, all out 150.
Day Three: Board XI v KCL All-Stars.
The much anticapted Wombat-on-Wombat show down, both teams a chance to take the Friendship Cup. Naem went cheaply, bringing Dream Team secret weapon Shariful "The Sherrif" Islam to the crease. The Sheriff had played in the U-19 World Cup for Bangladesh. Jarrad made amends for his dinky duck, with a quick fire 28. It was completely overshadowed by The Sherriff's magnificent century. He made the "All Stars" look like the "Milky Bar Kids" as he smacked them all round the ground. Some pedestrian outfielding by one C.Jones saw him come in for some harsh heckling from the batting side, and he soon lost his cool, biting back at the peanut gallery "you're like a bunch of old ladies at a pie bake-off you are". Trying to hide the sensitive Star, Amir tried him as a spinner. Nari (Engineers) pushed Chuck's first ball for a single, and allowed The Sherriff to feast. The next 5 balls saw 3 6s and 2 4s, and Chuck was banished from the attack after just one 27 run over.
Later I chipped in 18, including hitting the Captain for 4 and then 6. Alex hit his first ball for 4. The Dream Team, 290 after 50.
Enough to contain the Big Guns of the All-Stars? Read Chuck's report on their innings.....
WOMBATS WALK THROUGH ADORE, EDGE CLOSER TO KCL SEMIS
vs ADORE (Fuji 2 -- August 8th, 2004)
by Alex Koolhof (AKA -- The Russian)
The Tokyo Wombats took another step forward towards a semi-final berth with a hard fought win over a persistant Adore in Fuji.
The usual run-of-the-mill smutty schoolboy talk dominated the in van conversations while Obaachans with fluoro green hair did their best to convince us nocturnals that we were on our way to the circus.
Clowning around however, would have to wait till nightfall, as a scorching hot day greeted both teams at the ground, however the ground itself was in not so hot condition. Pools of muddy water dotted the river end, our Japanese opponents leading a desperate attempt to mop up what water could be scooped up by the ever versatile gumboot. Where was a super-sopper when needed? More farming jocularity unfolded as a few wombats commandered the ride-on mower to perhaps rival Chucky's infamous circle work!
Captain Chuck won the toss and elected to bat, sending in 2 of his finest warriors to open the order, in Jarrad and Rich. Rich 'Tugga' Conway was hungry for runs, and this Fuji belter was gagging for it.
Shortly after start of play however, a superb diving catch at point off an uppish slash had the Tasmanian Wombat back in the burrow. Chuck Jones strode to the crease and put his head down, playing some rather nice shots, while his partner at the other end found it much harder going. Had Jarrad, the ever consistent performer and highly superstitious Perthite been jinxed by pre-match total reckonings from within his team? Jarrad dismissed for 15. Ginger Meggs look alike Andy Hall entered, but only to score one.
Shacksy was looking the goods, but only managed 6, while Rich Cosway continued his good form with the bat for a well deserved 21. 'Chunky' waved his cleaver around like a muslim butcher, only to be unluckily run out. Zulu and Dave had a tumultuos partnership, that saw Zulu thwacking the Wombats second six of the day. At the other end, the Doctor was keen as curry for runs, calling the Z-man through with boisterous shouts of 'Come-on!', somewhat resembling 'our Lleyton'. Zulu knocked up 14, Dave 5, and the Axe man chipped in with a few timely boundaries for his 14 nearing the end of the innings with myself adding 3 to the total of 155 off our alotted 40 overs.
Adore in reply offered little resistance until a fighting partnership between Brady and Yamada, scoring 32 and 29 respectively. Curly Gason and yours truly restricted Adore's scoring to a trickle, Curly unlucky not to have a wicket from only his second ball as a catch goes down in the slips. Apparantely, slips fielders need at least a few overs to be ready for catches off opening bowlers! I picked up 2 clean bowled, and Ian was rewarded for his efforts with a juggled catch behind the stumps between keeper and slip fieldsman. Another catch in the slips of myself to Chuck, and along came the Black Nikka. Bowling with good pace, Nikka snared 3 wickets, the first involving a Boon-esque dive from Tugga from short leg in belly-flopper fashion to take a great catch. 2 more victims fell to Nikka and a sharp run-out from that man Tugga again had Adore reeling at 8 for 42, perhaps facing a lowest ever KCL score drubbing. To their credit, they dug in and showed gutsy fighting spirit to take the score over 100. Wombats grew restless, occassionally glancing up at the setting sun, or the traffic jammed highway, all the while wondering at what hour would see us home? The last 2 breakthroughs finally came however as Shacksy tweaked out a tight 6 over spell, realizing a stumping with Dino who whipped off the bails in no time. The last wicket fell to Ian with a much deserved LBW scalp. Axe and Chunky also bowled well throughout the course of the innings.
A good result of course for the Wommies, however improvement needed in that crucial slump period that we so often end up in! Chuck took honours for Man of the Match with a fine knock of 42, and 2 catches. (Captaincy, as always was superb) A rousing rendition of 'Glorious, Victorious...', sung by all, was a fitting end to the days play. Thanks to Anton for the jolly good umpiring all day, to Jarrad for the pearler of a tent, to Ian for driving and to Adore Cricket Club for a match played in great spirit.
In true Wombat fashion, the return journey had its classic moments. Nikka couldn't handle his squid dreds and mayo, but he scoffed down his fair share of tim tams and twisties just for good measure! Tugga was tiring, the Doctor slipped away soon enough and Chucky joined him not too long after. Rich definitely put himself into contention for the Golden Thong award this year with a short but sweet conversation with Ruth out the window. Everyone else got to meet Ruth aswell - Barbecue flavoured hell-chunks spraying most members in the van, causing upmost confusion and mayhem. Rich's techno-coloured yawn has no doubt re-cemented his newly acquired nickname of 'Chunky'.
WOMBATS MASH BANGAS
vs Bangladesh Tigers (Koiwa -- July 24th, 2004)
by Daniel Mugen (Aka -- ZULU)
The God of Cricket was smiling on the Saturday morning as the lads, bleary eyed and bushy tailed, made their appearances one by one at JR Koiwa to swap weekend action reports, trumpet imitations, Friday night footy scores and adult entertainment.
It was to be the first encounter with the Bangladeshis so there was curiosity and excitement in the air to mix with Nikka’s early morning bum rockets. More importantly though, the Wommies needed a victory to ensure a berth in the semi-finals, and not wanting to be vanquished again, the team to a man was keen to romp it in convincingly.
Burkey, aka Papa Smurf, was welcomed back into the fold, with a round of applause and handshakes after the birth of his daughter and the newest Wombat. Looking a little bleary eyed himself from his all-night vigils, Burkey was keen to get out there and get amongst it. Tugga was also back, this time sans coffee stains and security pillow, so once again we had managed to yield a strong side for the day.
Down at the ground, we were greeted by clear blue skies and a fresh gusterly off the river, which had Shacksey a little concerned during his preliminary pitch report. The Bangladeshi boys also had the Wommies a tad worried as it looked for a while that we’d be forced to play seven aside. Still, the numbers prevailed and after losing the toss, Captain Chuck was forced to send the boys out to the hot and sticky field to give the Banggas a batting lesson.
Curly and Nikka took the new four-piece, the field was set and it was game on. Now, for any of the unaccustomed readers out there, the Koiwa pitch is indeed an entity in itself. Any thing down the leg is automatically a wide，and with a stiff wind blowing from off, you know you’re gonna have to be tight as a fishes a/hole. The boys strived to find the spot, Curly doing so with Curly-esque accuracy. Nikka was not as lucky however, and despite a wheel barrow full of absolute peelers that had the openers wishing they’d worn their brown jocks, the Nikka was unlucky not to get a break. Mind you, all credit to the batsmen for occupying the crease as long as they did, despite an esky full of missed deliveries and dubious strokes that had the bowlers and in close fielders passing a variety of remarks about where for how much they could procure themselves a clue.
Despite Chucky’s words of warning, for a stint it seemed that the rumours of the Bangladeshi team’s non-competitiveness had made us slightly complacent. But after failing to dislodge the openers after 15 overs, and with the runs starting to come freely, the anxiety started to build and ‘equipoise’ bird flew the coup to be replaced by the ‘nervous tension’ buzzard. Emotions ran high as our efforts to crack the partnership failed to reap rewards, the exasperation abetted all the more by the batsmen’s unwillingness (or inability…) to play anything resembling sound stroke play bar sweep shots and leg glances.
Shacksey also had trouble making the openers dance as the batsmen stuck to their guns and managed to put a handful of balls past the cow-corner boundary. That’s not to say that he didn’t create chances, but when the ball was airborne it never quite managed to carry to a fielder. Richo had a crack as well but unfortunately his guts had other ideas.
Captain Chuck made what was to be an inspired decision to put Space, aka Auntie Mace, into the kitchen for a lesson on scone making. Before too long, the decision had paid off, the batsmen trying to pull Spacey on an uppish, offish ball only to be caught by the safe hands of Burkey in the slips (while all other interested parties were kept at bay by Smoker’s repeated shouts of ‘STEVES BALL’) with the score in the mid sixties for almost 20 overs.
All of a sudden, as is the beauty of cricket, it was like the Wommies constipation had been uncorked and a huge load had been dropped (and literally so after Dino’s quick trot to the rent-a-loo for a good session of porcelain punishment). The Wombat Juggernaut began to gain momentum. Earlier cries of frustration turned to what the Wommies do better than anyone else in the league: good ole’ (harmless) sledging. A handful of overs and scone analogies later and Space claimed his second victim: another catch, this time a top edge had Dino run out from behind ready to take out anyone that got in his way. But that wasn’t enough to satisfy ole Free Snake, and his tight spell of consistently straight bowling paid off, netting him 4 for 18 and leaving the Wommies in a commanding position because anything not going up the hill or into cow corner was not really going anywhere.
Axe Man aka X-Men was brought into the attack and, that’s right Chef, you picked it, the Tasmanian had another great day with the ball, claiming 4 wickets.
Curly, painfully accurate but as yet unrewarded bowling-wise, chipped in at mid-on with a fantastic piece of fielding: a quick pick up and direct hit solving the bickering batsmens’ troubles for them.
Smoker played an indirect although instrumental part in the next wicket, noticing that the partner of Curl’s run out victim had quietly returned to the non-strikers end, he called him on it, and sure enough, two balls later the Axe man sent in a Koiwa special to rearrange the furniture.
Richo was unlucky not to repeat the runout process with a sweet pick up and throw just centimeters from the sticks. (Although, in my book, not as sweet as his words of wisdom to the Bangas home-brewed Umpy on the ins and outs of calling a wide just because the batsman decides to rock off the back foot a good two feet outside leg stump).
Not long after, the batsmen belted a sky rocket towards the sun off one of Axe’s pills down to deep long on, where Curly, revved up from the whole team’s cries of ‘Cattcchit Curls!’, was so keen that he ran, no, sprinted, a good 15 metres past where the ball eventually landed. Not quite a Herschel but pretty mind boggling for the rest of us watching.
Curly was spared the cost of Axe’s beverage though when a few balls later, a sweet delivery gave Dino a chance to tally up another notch on his catch stats with a neat caught behind.
The Berkey soon made another entry into the stats in a big way with two more catches, one rocketing off the bat from Spacey’s delivery to be caught inches in front of his face, and yielding the first ever real slips catch in the history of Koiwa.
The next two batsmen for the Bangladeshis went against the grain when, contrary to their predecessors, proceeded to work the offside with a vengeance. Soon enough though, Ax struck again when the lingering opener tried to pull (surprise surprise) and poop-shot the ball high into the air to be claimed by the human rainbow Berkey at a shortish extra cover.
32 overs down and Curly was brought back into the attack. Yours truly was happy to help him get his first wicket of the day when the batsmen attempted to hammer one through point and I managed to take me nicest catch outside of the beach cricket arena.
Axe then went on to chop down the tail, assisted by Captain Chuck, coming in quickly to take a good, low catch at mid-wicket, thereby topping off his magic fielding on the boundary.
Overall, the Banngas had managed to score 153 of a little under 40 overs and the Wommies left the field in a pretty good spot.
After lunch, Richo and Dino made their way out to the middle for the showdown. A deafening appeal at Richo but a few balls into the inning had the Wombats feeling nervous, not so much for the chance of him being caught in front (coz there was none) but for fear that the Banngas planned to mimic their sub-continental neighbours’ habits of appealing for any bloody ball that got within a dog’s-bum sniff of the pads. Luckily, their home brewed Umpy (a player who found the time to don several other hats as square leg and on-field coach….at the same time) was replaced by Dave Davies who wasn’t ready to pay any wayward LB decisions.
Unluckily, and after a series of confident strokes, Rich didn’t get the chance to crack another top innings, as a short-pitched delivery managed to clip his glove on the way through to the keeper.
Burkey was up next and what followed was to be a cricketing lesson for all parties concerned. Together with Dino, the pair served up a bevy of cracking shots, well-placed singles, clever running and a six, care of Dino the ball before the drinks break. Before long, the records were dropping quicker than the limbs of a leper in a ceiling fan. All in all, the boys managed not only to garner the highest partnership for the league at 150ish runs, but also brought up their 50s in the same over. Great effort fellas.
With scores like that, and another fine knock by our good mate Johhny Extras, the boys pushed the team past the target for a scantily clad 22 overs, securing our spot in the finals and kicking off the start of a big night of partying for the Wommies.
The after match celebrations were topped off by a rowdy tabe & nomi hodai organized by Axe at a rooftop beer garden in Ginza. For the sake of any relatives or conservative parties reading this report, let me just say a good time was had by all (except the surrounding patrons) with a truck load of cold beer, lamb and laughs consumed, (and in the case of Space, brought back up…at five minute intervals…in fact the only thing not coming up for Space was his reg grundies or lack thereof as the female customers were treated to a side serving of pork sword to go with their lamb…).
Overall, the match was a good test for the Wommies and has no doubt added another coat of varnish to the super slick Wombats machine. Great effort blokes.
KEYSTONE WOMBATS BOTCH COMICAL FRIENDLY.
vs IECC (Koiwa - July 17th, 2004)
by Ian Gason
Some largely forgettable cricket, attempted unsuccesfully to obscure to unforgettable asides as an experimental Tokyo Wombats XI failed to haul in Indian Engineers' meagre 135, on a stinker at Koiwa.
Saturday cricket still hasn't caught on yet at Wombat-land, so it was really no surprise that we had no more than 5 of us leaving the station on time. Ax and Washington were still settling the tab at Club Claudia, and just like Sundays, Dinosaur was struggling with the unique Tokyo concept of traffic.
Smokin' Pete was struggling with the beer wagon, and Spacey had to pop round to Auntie Mavis' to borrow a hat.
Fortunately, The Indians seemed to be having simliar problems, so it was quite a surprise that we got going within 2 hours of the alleged start time.
TWCC welcomed back Washington, star of the Serendib run-out that wasn't, and Reg Dawson, finally having caught the right train from Shinjuku. Also, playing for his third club in as many weeks, Tokyo Bay's David Davis chose the wrong day to see how a real cricket club plays.
Indians went into bat, and the Wombats soon unleashed a barrage of sledges....on each other. Particularly harsh treatment was dished out to opening bowlers Andy Hall (Van Gogh, Leper, NIKKA, what Darren Lehmann said) and Jim Cole (Auntie Mavis, Spacey, Spicey, Porn-star). Perhaps shell shocked by Auntie Mavis' hat, Indians managed to lose an early wicket.
Abnormal programming was soon restored when Afro Jones brought Washington and Davis into the, um, attack?
Indians' got their over-priced scoreboard ticking over, and Afro had no choice but to move more and more of his pawns into the legside. Had the Indians connected a bit more, things would have been messy, but fortunately Davis managed to buy a wicket as Old Man Smoker in the deep didn't drop his second sitter for the day.
The Shinjuku Express came in for some harsh treatment from the Wombat sledgers, who engaged in some typically Aussie kiwi-baaaashing. "Bowl him some fush and chups, see if he'll bite thet" probably stands out as the worst of a bad lot. Despite or in spite of the sledging, Reggie was the pick of the bowlers, bowling straight and deserving of his 2 wuckets.
Jarrad came on and bowled like a true wicket keeper, before Afro Jones pressed his case for selection, by snagging 4 wickets with some flighty wobbly spinny thingies. Somewhere amongst all the sledging and funny hats and shaved legs, 10 wickets fell for 135 runs.
The sun was getting to Afro Jones, who, thinking he was Don Bradman on a sticky wicket, reversed the batting order. Hoping to give some under-done mugs their 15 minutes of fame was a noble idea, but we were unaware the new Club bat, The Big Malloo, was actually cursed. Within 2 overs it had the amazing stats of 2 wickets, 0 runs, from just ONE BALL!! First to go was Ax (diamond duck), run out after responding with all urgency of the Japanese public service, followed next ball by Curly who dragged one on for a golden. Dunno which is worse....
Auntie Mavis took 3 balls to see himself in, then one ball to see himself out. Herd menatlity - and I don't mean Jason- soon took over as Old Man Smoker joined the rush to beat the traffic. Wombats on the road to a spanking, 4/7.
Washington struggled gamely with The Curse Of The Big Malloo, as he and Reggie tried to right the over-turned Wombats juggernaut. A couple of cow corner boundaries weren't enough to break the curse, as The Malloo claimed victim #3, bowled. The Wombats' counter-attack centred on an old friend, Wides. The nonstrikers were given ample opportunity to sniff the umpires armpits, as he was soon flapping his wings like a seagull at the beach.
David Davis accumulated dots until he accumulated an edge to the keeper. Perhaps the shock of a ball landing on the pitch explains his di-orientation, as he signalled wide and marched down the pitch instead of off it.
Somewhere along the line we ended up with those two eagles fans, Jones and Shearer at the crease. Jones too feathered an edge to the keeper and joined the Wombats in the pavilion who were now very busily searching for a paddle to get us out of this creek. Zulu became the Big Malloo's 4th duck of the day, when he swung at a ball which was destined to be a wide til his bat may or may not have intervened on the way through to the keeper.
So here we are, 50 runs short with Jarrad and NIKKA at the crease, last man does NOT get his tucker. Smoker was on the phone to John The Bookie, who refused all bets on a run out, and was only prepared to offer $1.03 on an Indian victory. NIKKA's calling between the wickets verged on sledging, as the pair bitched at each other like a couple of old drag queens.
"COME on will you RUN! Run HARDER"
"Do you think you could call a bit louder, I've still got one ear drum left, Dino"
"There is NO way in the WORLD there is a run in that"
"Come on you fossil there was two in that"
"No, you're joking. you want me to give you the strike".
And they pushed the score past 100. Another soul stirring victory for The Wombats?
Rob Mann, having neither bowled or faced a ball, decided it was time for him to make a bigger contribution to the fiasco, and came out to square leg. Within a couple of balls, Rob had left his mark on the game, and the game had left its mark on Rob too.
A slower ball to NIKKA was swept square and hard. Very square, and recalling some his better moves from Club Claudia, Ax moved first left, then right, straight back into the path of the ball. The drag queens had thought there were some runs in it, and were part of the way down the pitch when The Knee of God sprang into action. After a mid pitch conference, the batsqueens decide to keep running. The only person on the field still not laughing picked up the ball, and the keeper did the rest. Grumpy, run out, got grumpy with Rob, and unleashed an M-sized bag of expletives at the poor bloke, and then proceeded to make a very valiant attempt at Bird's bat throwing record.
Smoker was soon back on the phone to John, muttering one of his favourite phrases," Any price a winner, right John?"
IECC Match report -- http://www.ieccjapan.com/reports.htm#TW-friendly
BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS AS WOMBATS WIN THRILLER
VS INDIA BLUE (4 July, 2004 -- Gunma Fire ground)
By Ian gason
In a remarkable day, on and off the pitch, TWCC took a step closer to Super 6 action in The Japan Gold Cup, with a nail-biting 2 wicket, 4 ball win over hard hitting India Blue, somewhere in, near, or beyond Gunma. Piloted by The Dinosaur's 95, the Wombats chased down 206 runs to move to 3 wins, 2 losses.
The morning after some excessive Trivia Night bonding, Wombats assembled at 'Baba at 8am to be greeted by the sight of Vice Captain (still smoking) Pete sleeping in the street. Which is better than Little Rich, who was still sleeping in Nishi Azabu. The early risers chowed on McChucks, and eventually Tugga appeared and I set the wheels in motion. Co-pilot and navigator Cap'n Chuck soon confessed he had no idea which road to take, and that he had lied his way into the front seat.
With The Angels pumping through the dinky stereo, Pete did his best to deprive the weary of sleep, before he too joined the rest in the land of ZZZZ. With one last call of 'UP THE GUTS' the navigator nodded off, leaving NIKKA as our last hope of getting to the right place. We needn't have worried. The Indians were on the blower to Dino, asking where the ground was, a question which 24 hours later, I'm still wondering.
Thanks to NIKKA, we did eventually arrive at The Dandilion Ground, to be greeted by the sight of, well, dandilions, and no cricketers. No matts, either. No umpire. Most of the ingredients for a succesful days cricket were conspicously absent, so as Dino described the '5 foot weeds' to someone else who had no idea, we concluded that it was back on the bus, back to 7-11, and off to Fireman Cricket Ground.
Up the guts, over the hill, and along some dirt tracks that had me reminiscing Crockie Dave's African Navigation Adventures, and what did we see? A 20 foot fibreglass dinosaur! This had to be the place! Alas, no Indians, no matts, no umpire. They were all amongst the Dandilions, now 6 foot tall, so we went and picked them up, removed all the furniture from the FCG and set up Mr Stinky's matts in the gravel/dirt square. Wisden has yet to respond to my inquiries, but I am confident that this is the first ever game of cricket played with a dunny ON the ground!
Wombats were asked to field, and THE Man, Rob Mann, Trivia Champion, soon had the break through as Dino snagged his first catch. Then another, and Indians' blue at 2fa bugger all. Bugger all was what the Wombats got for a long time, as our old Engineers' friend Ashok, had his wicked way with us (OK, me....). Luck was with the Indians as plenty of balls went in the air, but none to hand. Little Rich soon had some blood stains to go with the coffee stains on his whites after bravely attempting a diving catch in the square. At 2/115 at the 17 over drink break, Wombats looked to be in trouble.
A hangover defying fightback began in the 2nds session, as we summoned up all our reserves of energy. NIKKA's spell was as fiery as that garbage excuse for whiskey he is so fond of. Not content with imprinting KOOKABURRA on Dinesh's forearm, he went up to check on his health, "Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?". In between maiming and mauling, he did take some wickets, but the leader of the fight was fellow crow eater, Shax.
Switched from the Dunny End to the River End, the Wyhalla Warrior floated the ball up to Dinesh & Co, who were soon doing some excellent Helen Keller impersanations. Having used deceipt to gain the front seat of the van, Cap'n Chuck tried to see if he could trick the Indian bunnies too. Unlike the firmly bolted dunny door, The Indians were swinging in the wind, and the procession to the dressing room was soon on.
Chuck dropped a return catch off his first ball, as his glasses had fallen off! Jarrad Shearer careered THROUGH the stumps to take one Shax catch, even taking the batsman to the ground and giving him a kiss goodbye. A couple of Indians holed out to the deep, and Dino picked up a sharp leg-side stumping to give Chuck his second wicket (ever?). From 2/115 to all out 206, an excellent fightback in uncomfortably hot conditions.
With his 20 foot family member being climbed upon by an annoying horde of Brazilian drug-dealers' children, Dino debuted THE KAHUNA! Joined by coffee-stained Tasmanian Little Richard, the openers pusrued the 5 an over total. Jarrad played Gibraltar, as Richard revealed a dangerous habit: compulsive hooker. 3 balls in one over went down back of square, even after 2 men had been placed down there. When the moment was right, Jarrad too flashed his Kahuna with glee, with a smattering of 6s and 4s. One in particular was of splash-down dimensions as it cleared the hill at the Dunny End.
For the second week in a row, the opening (and maybe all wicket?) partnership was broken as the pair added 90-odd for the first wicket, before Little Richard (37) became Mr Stinky's first victim. Any further down the crease and he could've blown the ump. Indians luck was not yet exhausted, as Cap'n Chuck fell cheaply to a sharp one-hander at short mid-wicket by Mr Stretch. Pete (0) was Mr Stinky's #2, and gave considerable voice to his disappointment.
Was the collapse on? Had the wheels fallen off? PIG'S ARSE, Wombats! In came The NIKKA, and proceeded the cautiously slap the Indians around the little FCG outfield. With Dino keeping an eye on the run-rate, the pair didn't get in any mix-ups, adding 40-odd to take the yellow caps to 4/150. Zulu and Axe were Grumpy's next partners, making brief but invaluable cameo contributions. As we entered the final 10, the run rate edged up to 7, 8 an over. A couple of ten run overs, including Jarrad's dunny clearing 6, brough things back. The game see-sawed like a see-saw, as a double figure over would follow a 2 run over.
Doctor Dave joined Grumps for the 8th wicket, and will be buying him beers for a while, although Garna probably owes him a few. Dino moved to 95 by pulling a massive 6 half way across the adjacent soccer pitch. As the dressing room sang out Boom shaggaluggashuggalugga Boom, Doc called for a quick single, and Mr Stinky standing BEHIND the stumps didn't call for the 3rd umpire before sending Jarrad on his way.
With an average of 0.5, and my old pool partner Roppongi Roy's words (always play with faith) in my head, I went out to join Doc in what was a 14 ball, 14 run chase. Calming The Doc was the first job, and I had NO hesitation in declining his invitation for a quick single. 12 balls. Bat on ball, turn back for the second. SHORT RUN is the call from square leg Pete. No worries, Doc, we can do this. Each ball on its merits. Loose balls will come. Wait for it. Still time.
Look I really want to be modest here, but f**k that was huge! Did you see how far it went? 9 balls to go? Dinesh came in from the river end, and over pitched one on middle. With no premeditation, I put my best foot forward and swung Little Richard's Grey-Nich. Reckon I must have found the middle, because by the time I'd opened me eyes, the ball was sailing 40 foot over Dinesh's aching head, last seen half way to Nagano.
Still, the fat lady might have been warming up, but she still didn't know for whom she would be singing. 2 wickets, and a run a ball still. The biggest moment came when Doc flicked Dinesh off his pads, back of square.
Calling "2!!2!!2!!" like a roadie gone mad, I turned to find the ball still gaining speed as it passed the boundary. End of the over. Scores level. 2 wickets. 6 balls. It ain't over til....... Indian Captain Roy, brought in the field for The Ring of Fire, hoping I'd miss hit going over. Looking round, there wasn't a lot of space to put the ball into, but with 6 to go, I figured I could wait a while to slash. Back me up Doc, nothing silly.
First ball is true, no choice, block it back. Look around. Nothing's changed. 2nd ball drifted to leg and I flicked left of the oldest bloke on the field, called YES, looked up and saw Doc was coming. His eyes lit up and he was off running, and the dressing room was on its collective feet! We'd done it! Fat Lady was singing The Wombats song!
The best cricketing experience I have ever been involved in, fellas. We were under the weather. We'd wandered round like The North Melbourne Football Club looking for a ground. We'd been up since 6 (or Wednesday for some.) and didn't start til 12. We played through the heat of the day until after 6.
We'd come back from India's 2/115, and we'd stopped a collapse in its tracks. Enjoyed that song at the end, Wombats! Glorious, victorous!
AXI DENTS FALCONS, BAGS MICHELLE FIEFFER
vs EDOGAWA FALCONS (June 27th, 2004 - Koiwa)
By Ian gason
Despite the usual doom and gloom weather forecasts, and some Gunma rumours, The Tokyo Wombats rolled up to and all over Edogawa. The Falcons failed to take the chances we gave them throughout the first session, and The Wombats cruised to a 7 wicket victory inside 29 overs.
Lives a plenty were given to Edogawa Falcons by a clumsy Wombats unit. Stand-in 'keeper Zulu the first culprit, fourth ball of the day spilling a chance from the gloves of The Beard, Mohammed Rizwan, not a bloke you want to drop. With me determined to use every part of the pitch, especially the legside, it might well have cost us dearly.
A switch to round the wicket produced an(other) edge, this time from the leftie, and this one stayed in Z's gloves, not on the turf. As I expanded my bowling horizions wider and wider, it was back to basics time, so I trotted in and lobbed a harmless 'warm-up' ball (in me 5th...) at captain and number 3 bat Rowan. An obliging bloke Rowan, he saved me the trouble of bending down to pick it up, and just lobbed it back to me for the easiest caught and bowled you'll ever see. Thanks Rowan.
The trap ball to Sheikh first up was off line (ie on the stumps) and he let us know that he's "making runs now, every game". The Axidental tourist Robbie Mann soon came on, disgusted with the Wombats catching so far, said "I'm going alone here". Sheikh (5) was happy to set the Falcons dominoes tumbling, by returning the trap ball to the safe hands of Axe Mann. Safe hands were in short supply as The Beard enjoyed a further 2 chances, as easy catches went to ground. In all, 5 nominations for The Herschelle Gibbs Award.
In contrast to the aerial disaster work The Wombats engaged in, ground fielding was red-hot. Lots of effort went in to depriving The Beard of those extra runs he habitually steals, and the pressure took its toll. Building succesful partnerships like Jennifer Lopez, Falcons fell to The Axe. No other Wombat played a hand in Axe's 5 wickets, as he followed his caught and bowled with 4 bowled, including the prize scalp of The Beard. Off stump, middle stump, one stump, 2 stumps. Axe felled so much tall timber, it was a wonder Bob Brown didn't chain himself to the stumps.
With some help from South Australia's finest, NIKKA and Shax, and a late wicket from Alex, Falcons were all out for 105. Rob finished with 5 for 24, the best ever return for the Wombats, and the Club's first ever 'michelle' (5fa).
Rowan continued his captain's effort when he opened the bowling with an over the shoulder no-ball to Steve Burke, who promptly hooked it for 4. An 8 run opening over wasn't the ideal start for The Falcons, and any pressure on The Wombats' batting was soon gone. Promoted up the order, NIKKA Hall was a steady and entertaining junior partner for Burkey. Not letting a couple of bruises worry him, NIKKA danced like some kind of demeneted Muhamad Ali.
Bowlers stares were bounced back with remarks like, "oh yeah, that was good... but I hope you brought your bathers".Once he found the gaps in the fieldsman's hands, but generally it was a good straight knock from NIKKA, whose 26 means he has won a colourful bet with The Dinosaur. Falcons' simply didn't have enough men to contain Burkey and his made-for-Koiwa front foot batting. With the timing of champion, he guided the ball through the field like Kiwi in the '82 Melbourne Cup. The opening partnership of 75 created a new record stand for The Wombats. Burkey was eventually out, Serendib Before Wicket, for 44.
Chuck spanked a cow corner 6, should have 2 more, and was in and out for 13, before you could say "let's piss of to the pub", which is what we did a few overs later. With Shax and Axe at the crease, it would have been nice to see Axe hack a footwork-less boundary out to win the game, but instead the winning run came off a leg-side wide.
All in all a strong win, but still not an entirely convincing effort. We can and will do better. Thanks to all the supporters too, especially - all the way from Ballarat - Yukari Hayes. Good luck and best wishes to Masayo who is due to pop out the future captain of the Japan Women's team any minute.
Lastly, our thoughts and prayers are for all our friends at The Sri Lankan Lions.
WOMBATS GRUNT AS LIONS ROAR
vs SRI LANKAN LIONS (June 6th, 2004 - Gunma #2)
by Daniel Mugen
As Sunday rolled around, the signs looked ominous we’d even get a game with an 80% rain likelihood forecast. Nevertheless, the Wommies were undeterred, showing up in force at 8:00 at Takadanobaba to chew the fat and share the footpath with Baba’s finest residentially challenged.
Before long we were all aboard the mean machine and on the way to Gunma. Chucky, keen to avoid last week’s musical mayhem, was quick to get Zep on and off we went to the sounds of Dazed and Confused, while Smoker, after a contemplative sojourn the night before, was looking just that.
The journey passed quickly despite Nikka’s detailed descriptions of colonic treatment and Axe, located in what has now become the ‘drop-ya-guts’ chair, acting upon the philosophy of better out than in.
It was one of the strongest sides the Wommies had ever mustered, bar the absence of Curly, who was to miss his first ever game so he could be with his Grandad in Oz for his centennial debut. Congrats to the Gason family.
Thanks to the trusty directions of the JGC web site, we managed to reach the ‘distinct bridge’ (distinct for its perfect resemblance to a million other bridges around Japan), and were soon at the ground. Enthusiasm abounded as many of the blokes climbed the crest of the hill in anticipation of their first ever match in Gunma. But gasps of awe and excitement were soon replaced with ‘ohhh, f@x?, and the like as we gazed upon the pitch, or rather, the entire squad of Gunma fireman, their trucks and paraphernalia occupying it for a round of ‘shoot the hose at the giant scoreboard’. After discussing the idea of lighting a bloody big fire somewhere to get rid of them, our despair turned to hope as we discovered there was another ground in the vicinity, and yes the opposition was already there. Back to the 7-11, now a Gunma landmark for catering to a van load of hungry gaijin, and a rendezvous with the umpire in his foul-smelling Hi-Ace. After a set of driving maneuvers worthy of the Italian job, we finally arrived and lugged our gear over to prepare for the match ahead. Perusal of the pitch and surrounds gave rise to a few concerned looks, but beggars can’t be choosers so the roller was rolled, the mat laid and the toss won by Chuck, who after a bit of discussion with the lads, opted to bat first.
Burko and Rich opened the batting in what was to become one of the finest displays of quality stroke play the Wommies had seen. The lads peppered the ground with a vast array of text book drives, cuts and glances as the run rate pushed towards four and then five. Burko made the most of the loose balls cracking two sixes, the most impressive being off a square cut, Gilchrist style.
Richo was the first to go as he got a leading edge that shot the ball skyward and into the hands of the mid wicket fielder. Captain Chucky was next to step up, and after a cautious start was soon hammering the deliveries around the ground with a series of powerful strokes. The patchy outfield and a curious knack of the Lankan fielders being in the right place at the right time meant that quite a few top shots went unrewarded however.
Nonetheless, the fearless duo put on a noteworthy 79 partnership before Burko fell next trying to chop at a lower ball that moved back and claimed his off stump. A great innings for the Burkster, just 6 runs short of his half tonne. Prez Dino then made his way to the crease and was quickly off the mark, a reassuring accompaniment to Chucky, who was now in his element cracking huge drives to the outfield or into the arms and legs of any Sri Lankan lads mad enough to get in their way.
On a fighting 37, Chucky’s run came to an end when he was bowled by the Murali-like offy after to trying to cut a ball that spun back a mile. With the overs slipping away, Nikka got the call to get out there and do some quick damage, a Nikka forte and a decision that seemed ideal as he dispatched his first ball to the fine leg boundary for four. Alas it was not to be as old sparring pals Dino and Nikka agreed to disagree on the calling. Shouts of ‘yes, no, wait, make up ya f@x!in mind’ filled the air and Nikka was found short of his crease despite a mad tooth and nail scramble worthy of a Boggo Road escapee. Smokin’ Pete filled the void and looked set to create another sturdy partnership with Jarred before being caught off a deceptively low delivery which crashed into the stumps. Yours truly got the call next, and managed to push a loose one to the boundary to get off the mark. Grumpy made sure the runs kept coming and impressed many a Wombat with his uncharacteristically fast trotting between the wickets. Chucky’s earlier advice of relax and ‘swing away’ must have found its mark coz I managed to get bat on ball, although most were inches short of finding a fielder, and hardly orthodox.
Jarrad’s gutsy run ran out trying to put one over the top in the dying overs, and I was joined by Shacksey. No stranger to the willow, Shacksey was quickly pushing the score along, including a superb glance which rocketed down to the fence. Shacksey ran between the wickets like a man possessed before getting caught doing what he had to. The Umpire, character that he was, decided to keep Shacksey at the non-strikers end for the last ball to save the hassle of bringing Bretty to the crease (who was raring to go, mind you). All done, the Wommies managed to post a repsectable total of 154 off an abbreviated innings of 35 overs.
A ten minute lunch break on the back of the approaching storm clouds and we were out there again, fired up and ready to wreak havoc on the Lions. Pidgeon opened the account for the Wombats, unfortunately with a slightly leggish ball which was quickly clipped down to the boundary. The shot was symbolic of how the Lankan boys played the entire innings, picking the gaps with ease as the frustrated bowlers struggled to get one over on them. Despite a few pearlers, Smoker too felt the wraith as the right-left combination punished anything loose.
After a head-shaking ten overs, Al finally struck with some deceptively clever bowling, trapping the man in front so plumb that even the Character shot his finger up in an instant. The Russian had got his revenge!! It wasn’t too long before Al got his second victim, the first drop trying to disrespect a top nut that sent his wickets splaying across the turf like a rummy’s teeth in a barfight.
The wickets began to trickle through, but to their credit, the Lions, didn’t back down an inch, smashing the looser ones to the boundary or over it, and miraculously avoiding our fielders on each occasion.
When the wickets did start to fall, it was almost a matter of too little too late. Nikka played with the batsmen’s heads and then threatened to knock them off. One inspired stint (well, lets says so for the story’s sake) saw Nikka send down deliveries pitched shorter than a Joshi Koko’s skirt and then blitzed the wickets on the third. All done, the Nikka had procured a three wicket haul at the cost of less than a run a ball.
Cap’n Chuck, always trying to get inside the batsmen’s heads, varied the field and mixed up the bowling, turning next to Shacksey, Richo, Axe and Burkey, who were unlucky this time as the opponents were quick to fire off anything not nailed down.
In the end, a gutsy effort by the bowlers and the Wommies in the field just wasn’t enough to get us past the line, the Lions getting over in just 21 overs at a remarkable run rate of 7.4 an over, all for the loss of just five batsmen.
Grubby and weary, the Wommies made their way back to the van, but pity the heathen that thought the trip home would be a somber one. An esky full of brews and a few rounds of highlights had the boys back in good spirits and even more determined, to quote Cap’n Chuck, to open a can of whoop ass on our next opponents. Congratulations to Burkey for a top knock of 44 which earned him this week’s Man of the Match and a bottle of Hardy’s chardonnay. Congratulations also to the Axeman for his first appearance for the Wommies this season. We look forward to seeing him in action again.
TASSIE TIGERS BRING DOWN THE KYTES
vs SHIZUOKA KYTES (May 30th, 2004 - Shizuoka)
By Ian Gason
Wombats opened their KCL account at Shizuoka by defeating Shizuoka Kytes, running out victors by 8 wickets in just 14 overs. Again, the victory was set-up by the boys from the Apple Isle, Big Al(3/35) and Little Richard (45), and first gamer Paul Shacks' tail wrapping 2fa.
Chuck, hoping to bat a full 40 overs on a day with 195% chance of rain, managed to lose the toss, and Wombats took to the field. Things soon went badly for the hosts, who having smacked Big Al back over his head for 6, soon suffered the ultimate payback, when Big Al brought the openers castle down. Curly, seeing the top of the bowling position slipping away faster than his beloved Kangaroos' season, trapped the other opener lumbering elephant-like in front of middle and leg, LBW. Kytes 2 for not alot.
Batsmen came and went like Italian Prime Ministers after that, with Alex getting his third 3 wicket haul in as many games. Curly is petitioning for a rule change, as good tight bowling induced two brain-implosion suicide run outs in his one over. Both batsmen hit the ball straight to Cap'n Chuckles at mid-on, and set off on a one way ticket to an early lunch.
NIKKA was brought on, and broke an annoying partnership when the batsman hooked a bouncer onto his stumps. At the other end, Burkey made amends for spilling a chance at mid wicket. Paul Shacks got stuck into the tail with patient spin bowling. One pony-tail 6 didn't faze him and he finished with 2/15. Kytes all out 80 in 24 overs.
Jarrad and Little Richard opened the Wombats' innings, and set about getting the runs before any rain could spoil the party. Wombats were treated to a classy display of willow-wileding from the Tasmanian, who showed shades of Steve Waugh, cover driving his way to 45 in just 25 balls. So fast and furious was his innings that it - and 95% of the game- was over before girlfriend Karrie had arrived by shinkansen from Tokyo. Straight balls were respected. Loose balls dispatched.
Jarrad's LBW brought the skipper to the crease, who soon casually took 3 steps down the track and sent the bowler down the pitch for four. When Richard's batting clinic was over, Burkey smacked his first ball for 4, but with just 9 runs needed, rain brought the players from the field. As it so often doesn't in Japan, the rain stopped, and Chuck brought up the winnings runs with succesive boundaries.
The journey back to Tokyo was the usual unremarkable Wombats road-trip. Spacey soon forgot about that catch he dropped when Big Al handed out the communal curry. Smokin Pete, having neither batted nor bowled, launched a scathing attack on the Wombats' waistlines, stating in no uncertain terms that we should lose a few kilos. Serial snorer Zulu, another passenger for the day, was truely shiity, and by the end of the trip was really spewing about it all. Chuck made an interesting confession about his habits on public transport, and NIKKA, well nothing he says can shock any more.
Thanks to our hosts, Shizuoka Kytes, to the girls (inc Robbie Man) for coming down to support us. And thanks to NIKKA, for organising and driving the Wombat wagon.
SHEARER TAKES A BOW AS ICHI'S GET SCRATCHED
vs ICHIHARA (May 3rd, 2004 - Koiwa)
By Ian Gason
Tokyo Wombats registered their first win for the season with a solid all-round performance, running out 112 run winners over Ichihara at Koiwa.
On a day where we did little wrong, Man of The Match Jarrad Shearer lead from the front with a new highest score for the Wombats of 75 not out.
On a damp outfield with rain threatening, Ichihara strangely sent the Wombats in to bat. Bowlers struggled to control the wet ball and allowed Zulu and The Dinosaur to get off to a good start til Z-man drove and missed. 1/22. Captain Chuck came to the crease and added 22 of a 62 run partnership.
Steve Burke joined The Dinosaur, and he too looked to be on his way to a big score. Ichihara's first change bowlers offered no real threat to these experienced campaigners, but first gamer Steve was about to become acquainted with a traditional Wombat initiation: getting run out by Jarrad. Good fielding (which is why there is a 'WAIT' call Jarrad...) at short mid wicket saw Burkey caught short, a promising innings cut down prematurely.
Smoking Pete was Jarrad's next partner, and kept the scorers busy playing a number of good cover drives before he fell (17) with score on 4/133. As the bowling tightened up, providing support for Dino became the order of the day. Alex, me and Andy may not have contributed much ourselves, but we hung around while Dino and extras moved the score on to 7/172. Luke was Jarrad's last partner, and calmly turned the strike over to the senior man, and by the time Jarrad was dropped at backward square leg off the last ball, Wombats had racked up 180 runs. 51 of those came in extras, 39 of those being wides.
On a slow damp outfield, this was a great position to be in. Any Wombat with an internet connection would have seen The Ichi boys had scored over 300 last week, and were 2 from 2 this year. As we had seen a week ago, it aint over til the fat lady sings. A slight rain began to fall as we took to the field, gee-ed up and full of voice. Alex and me got the new pill and had to hurry through to get the minimum 20 overs bowled before a result could be guarenteed. Nerves showed, as a couple of run-outs chances were missed and 'keeper Jarrad dropped AN ABSOLUTE SITTER OF MY BOWLING. With 11 chirpy voices in the field and two goanna larrikins on the hill, we stayed focused, and soon the wickets started to fall. Alex had the timber cartwheeling twice by the 6th over, and I picked up an LBW and soon Ichihara were on the back foot at 3/20.
Cap'n Jones made the changes and proceeded to get inside the batsmen's heads. The wet and slippery ball reminded me of a girl I once knew, but Andy and Burkey didn't find it as hard to manage as she was, as one Ichi batsman was restricted to 2 runs from 36 balls. With Chuck Jones at short mid-wicket constantly teliing the batsmen about the demons in the Koiwa pitch, Andy kept them (and us) guessing as to where the next ball would come. Chuck's move to cow-corner, and a breif haka, had the batsman expecting the short ball, and when it came through line & length, he was soon minus a stump or two.
Burkey got his first wicket as a Wombat, but more importantly extracted a little payback when Jarrad attempted a Jason Dunstall chest mark behind the stumps. A spooned catch to first gamer Jamie Foster gave him his second.
Wombat supporters were 9 sheets to the wind by the drinks break, and when Chuckles brought me back on, Bay 13 memories came flooding back as Rob Mann (I know it was you!) lead the chant: "Curly is a wanker!". If not for the miraculous effort of two of my fielders I would have looked a right wanker, but in the end I got me 3fa.
Smokin Pete at silly mid-on to the left hander held on to a flick off the pads. A younger and smarter fella would've seen it and got out of the way, but not Smoker. He had just moved across 2 steps to be in the perfect position, and in an act of self-preservation took the ball in his thighs just below the family jewels. The last man fell as he slogged me long and high down to long on where Zulu took a low down running dive to save me blushes.
Ichihara all out 68 in 24 overs. 3fa for Big Al and me, Burkey and the man from Port Augusta 2 a piece. Only one batsman and one partnership managed double figures for Ichcihara.
Cap'n Jones later - and correctly- called this our best all round effort yet. It began before game day with Doc Dave letting us know early on that he was down with a fever. Good risk-free batting on a demonic pitch. Excellent talk in the field, miserly bowling. Good hands in the field, backing up the throws. We kept our heads up through the rain, and didn't let our early misses cost us.
A special mention to Big Al for that follow through. Al was a bundle of energy all innings, and after beating the bat for the umpteenth time, followed through 17 and a half metres, asking the batsman "Did you see that? Did you SEE that?".
Thanks to all the lads at Ichihara, not only for providing a great lunch, but also for the good honest spirit with which you played the game. It was refereshing to hear some good old aussie sledging directed at us!
LALAZAR WIN BIZZARE LEG BEFORE BAZAAR.
vs LALAZAR (25th April, 2004)
By Ian Gason
The ANZAC honour and tradition was uphled by the Tokyo Wombats on ANZAC day as, like our fore-fathers at Gallipoli, we came out fighting, got struck down, but fought hard with dignity all day.....and lost.
It was also a special day, not only because Jarrad was on time, but all players were presented with their official Wombats/Hardys shirts. Our ladies admired our shirts, we admired theirs, then the Wombats took to the field looking smart and watched Lalazar play unsmart cricket. Yours truely, Curly, off me cructches and off me 'long' run grabbed a wicket in the first over, bowled. 12 months without Wombats was too much for Big Al, and he too grabbed himself a first over wicket. It all became a bit of a blur as wickets came thicker and faster than a cheap porno actor.
A couple of run-outs stood out amongst the carnage. First I hit a bloke on the foot in front of the stumps as he played and missed. Now, I thought it was worth a shout, 10 other Wombats did too. The gent with the sore foot, not one to ever appeal himself of course, huffed and puffed about our asking the question. So busy objecting to our appeal, he ignored the little problem of being out of his crease. Running in from gully, Brett whiped the bails off, and sorry mate you're out. Perhaps next time you want to argue you're not out, you might want to do it from the comfort of behind your crease.
In similar style, Black Nikka was able to jog in from slip and affect a run-out, as rather than actually try and get back after a mix-up, the striker continued on so as to argue with his (former) batting partner.
7 down for 11. Jeesus boys, where did it go wrong? Well, the game - literally - slipped through our fingers, or should I say my fingers? Or jarrad's fingers? Or Luke's? The Big Guy & Bollywood smashed and slashed an 80+ partnership for the 8th wicket. Early on, The Big Guy gunned one to me at mid-off, which careered through the finger tips on my left hand. A little later, Andy found the edge, but the ball didn't stick in the gloves. This produced a glove-offing, hat throwing, dirt kicking moment of quiet reflection from Dino. Alot of runs later a Little Richard slower ball went up towards deep mid-on, where The Freak did something Freakish. He dropped it.
Once the partnership was broken, normal progarmming was resumed, and the last 2 fell cheap. All out 128. Alex 3 wickets, me 2, with Rich and Space amongst it too. Acting Vice-Captain Zulu, showed shades of Johnty patrolling an acre around mid-wicket.
Dinosaur and Little Richard got us away well, combining intelligent cricket with agressive strokeplay, until the leg-before festival began. 5 of our first 7 wickets were leg-before. Blokes lunging the front foot forward, blokes hit on the top of the roll, blokes getting struck outside leg from over the wicket. Wombats had had a number of good, confident LB shouts declined, but it seemed that the benefit of doubt was far, far more benificial in the morning session. Lalazar's usual farcical appealing completes the picture.
From 34 to 5/47 we tumbled. On a day when the Tasmanians shone, Little Richard top scored with 26, and Alex and Luke had a good 9th wicket partnership which took us towards the ton, before the Freak got a freaker that swung back round his legs. Doctor Dave got to face a ball for the first time since 2002, and played a solid innings with some delightful cover drives. He survived a skied ball that went higher than Mount Everest herself but just 3 metres from the crease, and even took two! But Doc, mate, lose THAT cut shot.
Wombats all out 96, an inadequate total, made half way decent by The Tassie boys and Doc. Cultural contribution to our defeat can't be ignored, but either can one thing: 7 for 11, and we lost? There'll be a lot of head-scratching at Wombat HQ this week.
Statistics & Club Records
