2009 Match Reports

TEAM EFFORT PRODUCES 2ND CHAMPIONSHIP OF SEASON (08/11/2009)
by Prabhat Kumar
>>>Match Scorecard vs YCAC
>>>Match Photos - Kasun
>>>Match Photos - Shax

The Wombats' season ended perfectly on Sunday in Shizuoka with a win in the Pacific Cup Finals against a good YCAC team. It was the team's first win of the season over the rivals after having lost a friendly and a T20, both at the YCAC. YCAC were bowled out for 177 in 29 overs and the Wombats scored the winning runs for the loss of 4 wickets.

Everyone made a stellar effort to get to Harajuku on time by 7am. Even yours truly made it on time after a shameful late-appearance at the designated pickup spot the week prior.

YCAC won the toss and elected to bat, the decision obviously prompted by them not having a full team at the ground. Dino was overheard saying "it's supposed to be a 10 am start time and their full team isn't here yet". Pup began the day's proceedings on a dew heavy Flix pitch and delivered a couple of miserly overs.

Nick shared the new ball and his decision to keep off the drinking for a couple of days prior to the game paid off when he bowled his namesake from the other team in his first over. With the pitch tending to keep low, playing back on it was dangerous. Nick did and paid the price with the ball sneaking in between bat and pad.

That meant Prashant, the best batsman in Japan, bar a few others we've played against and with, walked out. Fielding in the circle on the on-side I was expecting to be treated to a display of textbook strokes. Instead, there were hoicks down the ground interspersed with a few good strokes.

The dew on the pitch hadn't yet burnt off yet and Pup found it difficult to get a steady base so Stand-in Captain for the day Chuck, brought on Rosco to bowl his donkey drops in the fifth over.

That was a great move as Prashant was lulled into thinking he could go after him. He stepped out a few times to try and hit down the ground. A couple of hits barely eluded a beardless Trent fielding at deepish mid off. With the beard not weighing him down anymore Trent was even able to jump and get his fingertips to the hits. Eventually, Prashant's luck ran out as Trent pulled off a great tumbling catch running in from long off and got his hands underneath the ball just a few inches off the ground.

The fall of the second wicket saw the YCAC captain Kamran walk out to the middle. His usual go to areas are cow corner, straight down the ground over the infield and a few flicks. This innings was no different. Kamran scored a quick 31 while opening batsman Rais struggled to pierce the field. Nick got his second wicket of the day when Kamran tried to flick a delivery over the infield and holed out in the infield.

Big-hitter Aamir was next in. He usually deposits balls bowled in line with the stumps somewhere in the V over the bowler and the ball stays hit. I had first hand experience of his hitting prowess in a T20 game played a few weeks ago. He repeated it here and scored a quick 50 which earned him player of the match for the YCAC. The next wicket to fall was of Rais when I ran in from mid wicket to take a low catch off Alex. Farhan was in next and out for only 6 but contributed to a 50 run partnership while Aamir scored boundaries at the other end. Aamir's innings ended when he tried one slog too many and an outer edge flew high for a difficult running catch. YCAC's last 6 wickets fell for only 10 runs. Shaxy ended up with a 4fer which earned him the player of the match for the Wombats.

The Wombats' innings started off poorly when Pup was caught behind off the first legitimate ball of the innings by the keeper standing up. Jarrad was out LBW next. Two things stand out about Dino's dismissal. The first being he predicted it earlier in the day. And second, he was heard fuming about it at least 5 hours later in the day on the van ride back home. All one had to say was plumb LBW which got him all wound up.

Rosco was out stumped cheaply when he jumped out to Kamran who was doing a good Abdul Qadir imitation. I must say the action was near perfect in all the weird contortions and wild swinging of the arms during his run up to bowl.

Nick and Chuck steadied the innings with a 70 run partnership. Nick played a few gorgeous shots, the stand out shot for me being a back foot square drive through the cover region. A rash shot that would have brought him his 50 was well caught by Aamir running to his right from long off.

Chuck and Beathy pulled the team over the finish line with minimum fuss and another 50 run partnership was accumulated in the process. The winning runs came off a bowler who needed a runner when he came out to bat during their innings.

The Esky was popped open in no time and Chuck later presented the awards. Trent and I picked up the highlight of the day award each for the catches we took. Shaxy's award was his second in a row in the Pacific cup having won it in the semi-final as well for a 5fer.

The van ride back took all of 5 hours, but it was entertaining. A stop at the Shizutetsu meant we were loaded up on all the alcohol we could consume. Somebody also purchased a couple of Jinro bottles. You don't have to guess how things turned out. The first couple of hours were pretty civil as we downed Beers and Chu-His. There was smut talk. Alex also talked about his showering habits which include the use of one of his finger tips to clean up. He was also heard asking "How do you cook your Pappadams?"

Nick had heard and read all about the van ride back after the grand finals. I can't say whether he was dreading the ride back or was looking forward to it. And I'm sure he wasn't disappointed either way. Ice was thrown around and People launched themselves. The van was in much better shape than it was after the Grand Finals. There were a couple of renditions of the Wombats song; one on the highway during a relief stop.

On a sad note for me, it was my last game for the Wombats. I head back home to Phoenix in December – yes Curly, it will happen. Memories of the van rides will stay with me. This is one of the better teams I've played in. Thanks guys.

NO LUCK FOR IRISH AGAINST TWCC (25/10/2009)
by Alex Koolhof
>>>Match Scorecard vs Paddy Foley's
>>>Match Photos - Shax
>>>Match Photos - Kasun

The Tokyo Wombats and Paddy Foley's cricket clubs met for the first time in the 2009 Pacific Cup semi-final at the Sano ground in Tochigi Prefecture. It was also the first time that the TWCC had played at this relatively new location for playing cricket - and most of us were surprised at the small size of the ground which was probably similar in scale to a traditional village green in England. The pitch permanently laid out in the centre of the ground however, was a fairly good batting strip.

The Wombats arrived after battling with maps, directions, navigation systems and the general feeling of unfamiliarity in new surroundings and then proceeded to find a certain cafe to pick up a certain key from a certain unlocked car and drive to a certain shed to pickup certain items of cricket gear. This accomplished, we found the ground and did our best to warm-up - the Wombats would be taking the field first after captain Turner lost the toss. Reggie was already there in his little red car - obviously not ministering to the masses today at imitation chapels in Saitama, while Adam, Prabhat and Kasun sportingly offered their services to the Irish pub-based team who were short of a few men. The Foley boys have just been promoted to division one in the J1C - and were probably keen to test themselves against the current champs of that league - and we were eager to assess just what kind of team they actually were.

Nick opened the bowling from the hill end but was bludgeoned right, left and centre by Mr Goldsmith, Paddy's new opening batsmen. Boundaries came thick and fast and the only thing that was (temporarily) stopping them was our inability to find the pill in the dense thickets around the ground. The search was abandoned and a new ball was called for - the match still only 4 or 5 deliveries old. Reggie Dawson, playing in only his second official game this year, came on from the river end, but he too was punished severely for bowling too short. The score was rocketing along for the opposition thanks largely to Goldsmith, while his partner in Dewdney, gave solid support by not getting out rather than trying to match his teammate's blistering rate of scoring.

After 8 overs, G.T made a change and brought himself on from the hill end to try and stem the amount of runs being amassed by big-hitting Goldsmith. The batsmen wasn't fazed though and continued to smack the Wombat's captain around the ground. Meanwhile, yours truly tried his luck from the river end, and managed to keep the scoring down somewhat - although a few overs were needed to accustom myself to the new pitch. Nick, Reg and myself all confirmed with each other later on that the pitch seemed to be slightly longer than usual - which may explain our unusually short bowling. Dewdney started to push a few runs around, and even plucked up the courage to take a swing and hit me for 6 over long-off. Goldsmith, as usual, was picking the bad balls and dispatching them to the boundary.

15 year old Ben Andrews toiled away hard from the other end, however, by drinks break, Goldsmith had already brought up his ton and Paddy Foley's were well set at no wicket for 146. The Wombats had also dropped a few tough catch chances here and there, which didn’t help to improve our situation. Shortly after the resumption of play however, the breakthrough came as I managed to trap Goldsmith in front and induce the raised finger from umpire Farmer. Goldsmith's fine innings of 127 came off only 71 balls and was jam packed with 4s and 6s.

Former part-time Wombat Jeff Flew arrived at the crease and was very lucky not to be caught out in close by Grant straight away after popping one up in the air. With runs drying up a tad, the decision was made to bring on the Shaxinator from the hill end, who proceeded to bamboozle the batsmen with flight and spin. After slowly accumulating 57 runs, Dewdney was finally out to a miss-hit to mid-wicket off Shacksy's bowling - G.T. taking an excellent "burke-esque" catch running back with the flight of the ball.

Tim May (apparently no relation to his namesake and former aussie spinner), the new boy from Singapore, worked hard from the river end with some accurate bowling and although Paddy Foley's continued to keep the scoreboard ticking along, the Wombats began to take wickets at regular intervals, thanks to PM Shackleford. Both Jeff and Prabhat were stumped by Jarrad behind the stumps , Rana tried to slog his way out of trouble but instead hit one right down Richard's throat at long-off, and then Adam Farmer belted one directly to Chuck at cow corner. A run-out ensued on the last ball of the innings as Paddy Foley's ended their run on 267, which, according to Jarrad Shearer, was a par-score on the small batsmen-friendly Sano ground. Accolades must go to Paul Shackleford for his Michelle Pfeiffer which undoubtedly helped us keep the total below 300.

Richard and Ross opened our innings while the rest of us rugged up on the boundary as the wind-chill factor started to have an effect - although not as cold as Auckland some would say. Rosco cautiously faced Goldsmith but was keen to deal with any loose deliveries coming his way. Welch from the other end got the same treatment from the batsmen, and the Wombats were looking good until Richard nicked one behind from a Goldsmith delivery for only 5 runs.

In-form Courtney Jones strode to the crease and dotted along watchfully for the first few overs. Ferris at the other end was also cautious now - perhaps waiting for the second-string bowlers to appear before upping the tempo. Indeed, as soon as Flew and Dewdney came on to bowl, Chuck and Rosco cut-loose and began thumping boundaries to all parts of the ground. Dewdney was expensive - going for 36 runs off 2 overs - and was immediately pulled from the attack. Instead, they brought on Kasun - a Wombat playing for Paddys - who also got tonked around quite viciously. By drinks, TWCC were 1-145 and there was not much the opposition could do but hope to hold onto their catches, which was what Jeff did on the boundary to dismiss the boy from Ballarat. Ross wasn't a happy chappy to be out to such a tough looking catch only 7 runs shy of his maiden Wombat hundred.

The TWCC were still in a strong position at 2-168 - another 100 runs needed from the remaining 16 overs. Captain Turner joined the Wombats' former captain and these two stalwarts set their sights on victory by continuing to dispatch bad balls over the rope. Thomas and Prabhat were also tried, but no breakthrough came. Rana did his best in the field with his over-exuberant and slip-slidey style which kept the spectators amused, while Richard Laidler encouraged his dog JJ to piss on any cricket bag it felt so inclined to lift a rear leg to.

The Jones and Turner show really started to heat up and by halfway through over no.36, the Pacific Cup semi-final was all over. Wombats 2-271 defeated Paddy Foley's 7-267. Superb batting from Ross, Chuck and Grant to bring us home with plenty of overs to spare. These three batsmen hit 23 fours and 10 sixes and stamped their authority on PF's bowling attack. The Hardy's Man of the Match Award for the Wombats went to Paul Shackleford for his fine bowling spell that included 5 wickets, while for Paddy Foley's, a bottle of our sponsor's best wine went to Goldsmith for his excellent 127 that kick-started the innings for his team. Play of the day was awarded to Jeff for his well-held catch on the boundary.

Thanks to Paddy Foley's for a great day of cricket - it was good to play a new team and we look forward to playing you again next year in division 1 of the J1C.

Back in the van, the boys quietly pondered over what kind of fast-food gastronomic delight would best satisfy their hungers. We then proceeded to get lost trying to find the silly shed. After finally locating it, we made a beeline for beers and KFC and then hit the road back to Tokyo. A smallish traffic jam was greeted with groans and made us realise that wherever you go in Japan on the weekend, one is bound to meet with traffic congestion caused by famous ramen shops on the express ways.

The new fellas were introduced to the Wombats' in-van rituals and the highlights got underway. My choice of footwear seemed to be a good excuse for others to enforce the drinking rule, which naturally compelled me to share my knowledge and spread the good-word about the benefits of bare footing and/or minimalist footwear. Most wombats in the van were finding it hard to believe that an inflexible modern running shoe effectively splints the foot and prevents it from its natural range of movements and as a result, the arch often becomes weak and collapsed since muscles are no longer exercised.

Thanks to Dino for organising and driving the van - a duty that we all share now in the post-Curly era. We now turn our eyes towards playing YCAC in the Pacific Cup final!

HONOURS SHARED IN TRIANGULAR T20 (12/10/2009)
by Alex Koolhof
>>>Match Photos

Yokohama Country and Athletic Club was host to a triangular Twenty20 competition on October 12 2009 involving the Tokyo Wombats and Sri Lankan Lions. It had been at least a few years since the Wombats last faced the Lions on the cricket field, so it was great to have another opportunity to lock horns with another decent cricket team. We were also looking forward once again to playing at the YCAC - one of the more comfortable venues for cricket in Japan and the hospitality there is always exceptional.

The Wombats assembled very early in the morning at Yamate station. Ryan France made his return to the Wombat fray after several months of backpacking and curry-munching, and we all made the acquaintance of new Wombats Matt Downer (New Zealand) and Nick Goold (Australia). It must be noted that Nick is a fellow Taswegian from the town of Longford (a pissy little historic town) - and a welcome recruit to the Wombat's apple isle ranks.

First game was between the Sri Lankan Lions and the Tokyo Wombats. Basic catching practice kicked off the morning and Kasun provided some entertainment by trying to catch a sky-high cricket ball with his own garden hose. The skies were blue and it was a lovely crisp (and quiet - it seems the Lankans had forgotten their calypso beach drum) morning as the game got underway with the Wombats taking the field first. Yours truly was thrown the pill by captain Turner and I opened up the Sri Lankan's account with a leg-side wide. At the other end, new boy Nick was bowling well, and we managed to keep things fairly tight for the first 8 overs. The first breakthrough came with GT taking a fine low-down catch in the deep to remove the dangerous Chandana.

Matt Stride and Prabhat toiled away for a while - Stryder was unlucky not to pick up a wicket or two. PK clean bowled Kumara with one perfectly flighted delivery, and then soon after, Luke 'Spook' Ray got amongst it with his probing deliveries and tempted Sanjey to hit one right down GT's throat and then clean bowled the in-coming batsmen and Lions' captain, Anura. Howls of laughter were heard for the next 10 minutes from the Lions' support party - they obviously thought that seeing their captain out for a golden duck was hilarious and worthy of a good chuckle.

Dilan supported Chula in his quest to boost the Lions' total as much as possible - but fell to the bowling of his fellow countryman in Kasun. Chula battled on though to give the Lions a respectable total that would take some steady batting to overcome. After slogging 6 fours and 1 six, Chula was out for 43 by the good ol' backyard cricket rule of 'six and out' - as his massive pull shot sailed way over the YCAC netting and onto the roof of one of the native's dwellings.

After 20 overs, the Sri Lankan Lions had totalled 131 - albeit, generously helped along by 20 wides from the Wombats.

Our chase began with Steve Burke and Ryan France opening the batting. This partnership did not last long however, with both batsmen judged out LBW with only 5 runs on the board (4 of which came from wide deliveries!). This disasterous start sent half the team scrambling to find some pads to strap on as Downer and Turner set about the task of accumulating some runs. Matt Downer, our latest Kiwi recruit, nudged a couple of singles in support of his captain, who stroked a few lovely shots to the boundary. This partnership too was shortlived however, as Matt had his castle dismantled by Dilshan for a pair.

A Farmer (by name, not by trade - although I think his company makes tractors) strode to the wicket to assist the in-form GT. These two pushed the score along to 60 by the midway mark of the innings and kept us abreast of the required run-rate. The Farmer was then bowled for 16. Matty Stride came and went for 3 runs, and then Nick helped GT get us over the line with a solid 20 not out. Grant finished not out on 73 - a fine innings that included 9 boundaries.

So, the first round was awarded to the Wombats - next up the home team, YCAC.

The YCAC won the toss and captain Kamran elected to bat first. Some good bowling from Matt and Luke made boundaries hard to come by for the YCAC openers - and for the first 4 or 5 overs, only ones and twos were pushed around. The breakthrough came with Stryder lulling batsman Riaz into a false shot and then taking a very good overhead caught-and-bowled catch. Kamran joined Steve P in the middle, and these two set about consolidating.

Rhino was given a trundle for a few overs (and questioned his own ability on multiple occassions: "you seen enough now GT?") and Kasun battled hard at the other end. The latter was the man to eventually secure our next wicket - deceiving Kamran with a well flighted delivery and Adam had the bails whipped off in no time to leave the batsmen stranded out of his crease.

Tall and muscular Aamir arrived in the middle and then proceeded to bludgeon the Wombats' bowling attack. Six 4s and four 6s were smacked and over 70 runs piled on in just 7 overs - Aamir and Steve P were wreaking havoc on the Wombats plan to contain YCAC under 130. Aamir finally fell for 53 - a sublime innings that gave the YCAC a very decent score of 146.

Rhino's failure in the first innings obviously brought about his demotion from the role of opener and the Farmer instead joined Burkey in the middle. Perhaps it was the buffet lunch enjoyed during the innings break - but the CAT man from Perth was certainly looking a bit sleepy when he was clean bowled by JB in his first over. Promoted to first drop was Prabhat, the Hydrebadian, who now calls Phoenix home and (thank god) refuses to drink Bud, looked confident and aggresive in his shot selection. Unfortunately, PK fell with the score on 25, which brought Nick to the crease, who pushed a few singles around but was then trapped in front by the destroyer of Wombat worlds, Aamir, for 9.

A partnership was needed, but was not forthcoming. Burkey was castled by that man Aamir, and the Wombat chase was stuttering at 4-65. Kasun came and went quickly, so it was all hope that our saviour from game 1, Mr ANZ, Grant Turner, could turn things around for TWCC. For a while it seemed so - Matt and Grant pushed the score along to 98, but then GT was run out for 7. With only 6 overs remaining and still 49 runs to get, it looked unlikely that the Wombats would be bathing in the glory of successive T20 victories. This was confirmed with the diamond duck run-out of Rayos and then Rhino, Strides and yours truly fell cheaply to give YCAC the victory they deserved. Aamir finished with a 5-wicket haul to round out his efforts with the bat, while for the Wombats, Burkey and Downer did their best with 37 and 32 runs respectively.

After 2 games straight, the Wombats could relax. Many of the boys, including myself, felt like it was beer o'clock. However, there was still the possibility that one more game would be played if the Lions defeated the YCAC in the next game, which would mean that each team would finish with 1 win a-piece. Accordingly, and characteristic of our lazy marsupial nature, the Wombats cheered on the home side during their innings (just so we could hit the piss earlier). The details are somewhat vague - mainly due to us not being out on the ground and in close proximity to the action - however, a fine batting certainly ensued.

Riaz and Richard powered the YCAC to 63 in 9 overs before Richard fell for 12, while Riaz continued on strongly and brought up his 50 that included seven 4s and two 6s. The YCAC were well set for a mammoth total with wickets in hand for the remaining 10 overs. Such a dominant position was well utilised, with Aamir joining the party to blast a quick fire 71. Boundaries were hit all over the ground as the Sri Lankan bowlers could do nothing to stem the flow of runs. YCAC 193 off 20 overs.

With such a formiddable score, the Wombats felt safe that another game would not be required as the YCAC would be declared winners of the touranment with 2 wins. Some even ventured to the bar for drinks - while others enjoyed a hot shower. Still, as some of us veteran Wombats know, the Lions would never give up without a fight - and have plenty of sloggers in their ranks.

The Lankan innings kicked off with Chandana and Sanjaya. Sanjaya soon departed as a result of a run-out, but Chandana got on with the job with Kumara and the pair blazed boundaries to all parts of the ground. Such aggressive batting during the early overs was reminiscent of the Sri Lankan national team's march towards their 1996 world cup victory. Chandana's innings came to an end on 61 after being bowled by Riaz and then new batsmen Chula was given LBW to Kamran. Jackie Farmer and kids turned up, only to find daddy out on the field officiating, and 2 hours later, Jackie was heard mumbling and swearing about dedication and family devotion as she endured the chilly Yokohama evening watching hubby be the ump.

Those 2 aforementioned wickets temporarily halted the momentum of the Lions' batting juggernaut but the next two batsmen, Amila and Anura, provided excellent support to Kumara, who slashed and flayed his way to a well-struck 50 until being bowled by David Todd. The equation came down to around 7 an over for the last few overs, and Sampath and Udaya were srambling and stealing runs any way they could. With 8 required off the final over, the battle seemed lost for Sri Lanka as David held his nerve and bowled straight, true and tight to Sampath, who failed to get to the other end for the first 2 balls of the over. A single was then scampered, but the Lions still needed 7 off 3 balls. Udaya then defied all odds afforded to a tail-ender and tee-ed off with a booming straight drive that sent the crowd wild and the ball onto the lawn bowls green for six runs. A cheeky single next ball secured an amazing victory for the Sri Lankan Lions and was the fitting end to a great day of exciting cricket.

Naturally, it was too late to play another game, so all players retired to the pavilion for food, drinks and player awards. Best for the Lions was Chandana - who set up the amazing run chase that ensured his team's chance of victory. Aamir was clearly best on ground for the YCAC with his power hitting and superb bowling, while Grant from the Wombats picked up a bottle of Hardys' wine for his steady batting display and 2 top catches in the first game against the Sri Lankans. Highlight of the day undoubtedly went to Udaya for his spectacular match-winning six with 2 balls to spare.

Thanks to YCAC for the excellent hospitality once again, the Sri Lankan Lions for the making the trip down for a fun day of cricket, and to all friends and family who came out to support us.

5 OF THE BEST! (27/09/2009)
by Adam Farmer
>>>Match Scorecard vs Wyverns
>>>Match Photos - Shax
>>>Match Photos - Kasun

Let me start this report a little earlier than usual, being grand final week and all, and I'm sure the world would like to understand how the wombats finalised our preparations for a J1C 2009 premiership. A last minute strategy session, some minor weight sessions, a light jog on the beach or catching practise – not likely! Instead, a Black Lion gathering consisting of beer & pizza to watch the AFL grand final, of course!

A little bleary eyed - we gathered at Harajuku station at 7.30am. Excited to see the magazine bus arrive for the modelling shoot, we were left a little disappointed when this week's specimen was not in the same class as the original beauty we saw before the last Fuji game. It was like comparing Amanda Vanstone to Megan Fox – enough said.

Typical of the Curls we have grown to know and love, he turned up right on time to load the wombats into the van and we headed into the sunrise on a journey to retain our rightful mantle as the number one team in Japan. The usual van conversations began and were shortly tuned to the next level as Al & Shaxxy began discussing the meaning and evolution of life, enough to put most of us back to sleep to make up for the lack of it the night before. The topic eventually turned to Australian geographic trivia and a highlight was Al's "what is the highest point in Tasmania?", to which Shaxxy quickly responded “"the 72 election", which was later corrected to "the arrival of TV".

The day's standard was quickly established as we arrived at the conbini to be pumped up with a Burkey speech that a sub-10 minute stop was required in order to meet our kick off time. Not to disappoint the vice captain, the wombats completed the necessaries (including having our orders mixed up by the oldest 7 Eleven owners in Japan) in record pace. The last stage of the journey was somewhat quiet as I am sure all members where soaking up the atmosphere and taking in the moment.

Our arrival at the ground quickly moved into a cramped net session for those of us that had not been near a six stitcher in too long. GT strode to the centre wicket for the all-important toss. Unfortunately that double-sided coin got us again and the Wyverns won the toss. To our surprise they chose to play a tactical game of chase and sent the wommies into bat.

Our President and an ex-Wyvern were sent into open the batting on our march for history. I am sure there was no one on the ground more relieved than the opposing team when they were able to dismiss ex player Beathy from a leading edge to long off for a cheap 7. Short of time in the middle, Chuck stepped out to the challenge, happy to be elevated to 3 whilst Rossco was doing it tough in Chang Mai.

For the next 30 mins or so Dino and Chuck worked hard to bring the score along for the wommies. Several times we heard Chuck cursing himself for not middling a shot that went for four. Dino keep pushing his score along until he tried to break the shackles and was ripped for 23. This brought one Mr Burke to the centre. What else can you say? A man whom has rarely been out in a grand final continued on his merry way and gave an exhibition for why he should have played more games for Australia than Brad Hodge (cheap shot!). Chuck continued to battle his inner demons and knocked out a stellar 50 before falling LBW.

Batting at 5, GT marched to the pitch determined to promote his batting career and commenced nicely but unfortunately holed out and was caught deep on the boundary for 4. I followed in similar fashion, hoping to build a partnership with Burkey whom by this stage was looking like the usual stalwart of the wommies innings. However after managing to crack a couple of boundaries, the ball before drinks saw the umpire pay a leg side LBW that could best be described as "questionable".

Then the moment we had all been waiting for – Curly's farewell knock for the Wombats. A quick 50, a rousing 100 – what treat where we in for today? The answer arrived very quickly with a golden wacker....An "unorthodox" shot, tapping a ball from wide outside off stump to a waiting close-in fieldsman, is probably how it could be best politically described. Deathly silence fell as all wommies quickly scurried to be busily pre-occupied during Curly's return to the pavilion.

The tail did its best to support the man of the moment, including a what he would like to describe as a solid innings-saving 2 not out from Al doing his best to let Burkey build our total to a defendable 198. Burkey finished on a magnificent 64 not out.

After some fine 7 Eleven dining, the Wommies took to the field to give the Wyverns a cricketing lesson.

Curly was thrown the new nut and opened from the river end. GT showed some surprising tactics himself and gave Kasun the job of opening with his spin from the other end. A tight opening spell from both bowlers didn't reward any wickets but contained the openers to a mere 36 off the first 10 overs.

A drinks break gave the Wommies a chance to refocus. I'm not sure what someone slipped into the water or if it was the continued profanities from GT, but we certainly slipped into overdrive following the drinks break and the wickets began to fall at a constant rate.

Koolhof replaced Kasun and continued his fine style of bowling in the finals, snaring 3/32 off 8 including the wickets of both openers. GT put himself on from the river end and again proved damaging collecting 3/25 off 8. Beathy & Kyle cleaned up the tail taking 2/10 off 2.5 overs and 1/12 off 2 respectively.

Curly was brought on to finish his bowling career for the wombats and finished with a cameo 1/33 off 8.

That man highlighted the fielding effort again – S.Burke - providing two of the best outfield catches you could ever hope to see. Some wommies are obviously becoming all too familiar with his efforts, with Chuck stating during one stage "It's Burkey, he'll catch this", as Burkey was screaming around from mid-on. A worthy mention also needs to go to Dino for a magnificent one hander that he plucked in front of Chuck's face at 1st slip.

The victory was ours - the moment we had all been waiting for – The Tokyo Wombats were officially crowned J1C Premiers for 2009 with the Wyverns all out for 142 in the 36th over. J Hanada was the shining light for the Wyverns finishing with bowling figures of 3/45 off 8 and 49 with the bat.

Obviously and rightfully, one Steven Burke was awarded Man of The Match for his innings of 64 and two awesome catches. Al Koolhof was awarded play of the day for a continued outstanding bowling contribution during the finals. Hanada from the Wyverns was awarded player of the day from the opposite team for his annoying bowling and batting that gave the Wyverns a fleeting chance of challenging the Wombats.

The usual esky was opened (and demolished on the trip home) and the Yebisu began to flow, along with a few bottles of champagne and some additional drinks provided by our cheer squad. Curly gave a tear jerking farewell speech and handed over our club song to yours truly.

Banning any purchase of Jinro it was and off to the store we go!

What could only be described as a rather quiet first two hours on the trip home turned quickly south as someone in their wisdom decided it was time to arc up a little Guns 'n' Roses on the deck to set the mood. Bad Kyle made an appearance and GT carrying on from last games seat hopping decided it was time for some good old fashion "stacks on" at 100 kms an hour down the Tomei.

By the time we arrived at Harajuku, I think every man and his dog in the van was covered in beer, bruises or both. A phantom chucker made an appearance as the van wafted of a defining smell! Chucky was busy making friends with the locals as a few held their breath whilst trying to make the van respectable enough so Curly could at least leave Japan with his deposit back.

Most of the team left too early to see the final Wommies song of the evening, highlighted by Bad Kyle's solo from atop the roof of the van in the middle of Harajuku. It was at that stage it was time to call it a night and we left Curly to drive off into the evening, farewelling a Wombat legend!

TOKYO WOMBATS CRICKET CLUB - PREMIERS 2009

CRICKET THE WINNER AT SHIZUOKA (13/09/2009)
by Steve Burke

Cricket was the winner! Yes, that's right - two competitive teams, perfect weather and the picturesque Abekawa ground in Shizuoka. Whilst the Wommies fell over the line for a 26 run win, this was a perfect example of what a "friendly" should be with the game played in good spirit and all players involved in the game with the bat and/or ball.

As always with games at Shizuoka, it was an early start with the van departing Harajuku around 7:30am though this week it was unfortunately minus the bikini model. With only 8 Wombats in the van, it was a more comfortable trip down than the previous week (12 Wommies) and even in his absence due to having to "clean his house" (or perhaps in spite of it), Jarrad Shearer managed to pop up regularly in conversation.

Even with only 8 blokes, it was still proved too big a challenge to complete the supermarket stop within 15 minutes with the Shizutetsu porcelain coming in for some severe punishment. However, it turned out to be a perfectly timed arrival at the ACG (Abekawa Cricket Ground) as we managed to avoid having to layout the flix pitch.

Introductions were had with our two newest Wombats, Richard and Ben Andrews (first father and son combination for the Wommies). That left us one man short, but fortunately for us, the Kytes had a spare man for us - Dana. Unfortunately, for the Kytes, they would later rue loaning us the best kept spinning secret in Shizuoka.

The toss was won by the Wombats and we batted with a new look line up. Beathy and Curly started us off against some good bowling from Mewan and Sukita. Unfortunately the openers and new number 3, Hamburger Hill, fell early and we were 3/25 in the 7th over. With the Bendigo/Ballarat combination of Trenton Dean and Ross Ferris at the crease, the ship was steadied for a while with Trent leading the way. Trent's unusual technique and powerful hitting frustrated the Kytes with his first three scores being boundaries, the highlight for me being a crunching lofted cover drive to get off the mark.

Trent's departure for 16 brought first gamer Richard Andrews (Minister-Counsellor with the Australian Embassy). The Ross/Richard partnership was memorable for a number of expertly executed gay dabs, the finest being Roscoe's dab between keeper and gully for four. The dismissal of Ross left us at 5/88 and brought about another first for the Wommies with 15 year old Ben joining his Dad Richard at the crease – the first father and son batting combination - which had some Wombats sitting on the side line wondering what other combinations the Wombats were yet to experience.

The father and son partnership yielded 37 runs with Ben displaying an excellent technique and playing some nice drives. Richard at this stage was batting with a runner courtesy of a strained hammy but was just starting to unleash. I then joined Richard at the crease and had the best seat in the house as he applied the blowtorch to the Kytes bowlers with technically correct strokes and technically correct slogs. I managed to lob one down Neil's throat off Suresh. Not long after, Richard departed for a magnificent 78. Kasun and Dana came and went quickly leaving Strides stranded having faced just one ball. We went to lunch feeling confident that 188 from 35 overs was a winning score.

The Kytes got off to a solid start with Todd and Larry keeping the "good ones" out and Todd narrowly avoiding a bit of chin music from Strides that missed by centimetres. Strides finally did get his man with Todd nicking one through to stand in keeper Gavin Beath. Larry followed next over to a gazunter from Curls which made a mess of the stumps and had Curly looking a little sheepish.

Spin bowling, often under-rated but hugely effective in Japan, was introduced in the form of Ross Ferris in the 9th over. The big Ballarat-ian didn't let the skipper down with a match influencing spell of 3/9 in 3 overs (we'll ignore that 4th over Roscoe! Though that over did include Strides almost taking the catch of the year with a one handed, diving effort at deep backward square leg).

Strides completed a fine 7 over spell of 1/26 before spin was introduced from the end "formerly known as the lone tree end". Dana, on loan from the Kytes, was asked to roll his arm over – all the Wombats skipper knew was that he bowled off spin. As luck would have it, Dana was bowling to the Kytes skipper, Nick, who was heard to say words to the effect of "he'd better not get me out if he wants a game for us". Well, after starting off shakily, the Murali-clone deceived Nick with good flight and rearranged the Kytes skipper's castle. Dana would go on to finish with 3/34 off 7 overs in a crucial spell.

The Kytes went to drinks at 6/90 with the Wombats on top but we knew that anything can happen on the smallish ACG. With the Sri Lankan spin combination (Dana and Kasun) continuing from both ends, the Kytes fell to 8/129 (including an apparent "eyes closed" catch from Trent at long-on) and the game was seemly all over. However, Sukita of the Kytes, also batting with a runner (might try it myself next game) started to unleash some powerful shots as the Kytes whittled the equation down to 40 runs with 8 overs left. Curls was getting a little nervous and was counting down the runs from short fine leg.

The introduction of young leggie, Ben Andrews, proved decisive. Showing great composure and skill, Ben landed some nice leggies and even a couple of wrong-uns as the batsmen got away with some big swipes. Ben however had the last laugh as he had Sukita caught at deep mid-wicket off his sucker ball - a nice juicy full toss! Kyal Hill was fortunately able to locate the whereabouts of his shoes that he had been fielding without, and managed to chew through the last wicket to end the Kytes innings on 162.

Thus ended a thoroughly enjoyable game where players from both sides were given opportunities that they often don't get and making the most of these. Richard's 78 and a catch was an easy choice for Wombats' man of the match, as was Sukita's double of 58 and 2/32 for the Kytes. Play of the Day went to Dana for his effort to knock over his future skipper's off peg.

A couple of notable mentions: Gavin Beath for a very clean performance behind the stumps - one catch and one stumping - putting the pressure on our other two stumpers. And to Ian Gason for a couple of efforts in the field where he managed to display the coordination of a newly born giraffe - apparently it had something to do with not adhering to his pre-match routine.

Players from both sides made their way over to the Soba shop for a few refreshing ales. Beer orders were made which sent the 80 year old soba shop owner off on his bike to the nearest bottle-o to make the required purchases! As always, post game celebrations in our favourite Shizuoka Soba shop were enjoyed by all. Neil and Nick managed to lighten our wallets as part of fundraising for the Kytes lawnmower repairs - all for a good cause.

With only 8 guys on the van for the ride home (and only 6 in the "mosh pit" a.k.a the back of the van), I thought that perhaps the extra space would allow guys to chill out and relax. However, once the beer stop had been made at Shizutetsu and "evil Kyal" replaced his alter ego "good Kyal" on the van, I knew I was wrong. With a truly inebriated crew and Rob Mann's "Wommies Van" CDs pumping, it was soon apparent that the additional space in the van only meant that guys were able to launch themselves further than usual with even Kasun firing up in between his power naps. The van was truly rocking leading to an inspirational speech/lecture from Ross at piss stop #3. Something to the effect of respecting the front of the van given that Curly is hurtling down the Tomei at 100+km/h. It was partially respected, although it really only meant that the action moved further down the back of the van. We arrived back in Harajuku around 11pm with yet another destroyed esky but this week I am glad to report we were minus the "male models from Mudgee".

Thanks again to the Kytes for a great day. Thanks to the Wommies boys for making the day so enjoyable on and off the field. Hope to see as many of you as possible this Saturday for Curly's farewell party. If anyone deserves a send off, this man does. ONE, TWO, THREE......

WOMBATS BOWL OVER SANO TO REACH GF (06/09/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs Sano
>>>Match Photos - Shax
>>>Match Photos - Kasun

Perhaps inspired by the bikini-shoot babe at Harajuku, perhaps motivated by the chance to get back to Harajuku in tme for the Brazilian Festival. Whatever the reason, Wombats vulcanized Sano Sunday smashing their way into a 6th consecutive Grand Final, to be played Sept 27th v bullet-dodging Wyverns. Man of The Match Kyal Hill growled his way through the middle order with 4-23.

The only delay in getting the troops to the battle was the aforementioned photo-shoot as the lads etched the mammaries into the wank-bank. GT won the toss, and must have wanted to enjoy a little samba action too, as why else would he choose to send in a team missing 4 of their best 5 players? Despite these pressing issues, his fine opening spell yielded no rewards.

Golden Shoes Alex Koolhof, fresh from a spell of Kenyan style barefoot marathon training, dextrously controlled the pill at the Shed End. The breakthrough came when the skip benched himself and gave yours truly a trundle, and an obliging bat lobbed a c&b my way. A windy waft by Japan's Alex Miyaji at a Brett Lee special earned me #2, the ball flying to slipper Courtney Jones, whose world was plunged into darkness when a late dive by keeper Shearer threatened to complicate things.

No such complications moments later when Alex's miserly and masterful spell coughed up wicket number three. The Big Grump got airborne reeling in an edge from Sano's number 3, grabbing it low in front of Jones. A candidate for catch of the year.

The ball was swinging at both ends - yes disbelievers, even at my end - in with breeze from the Dutchman at the Shed End, and out from the River End. The ball struggled to find the bat, and the score-cards racked up more dots than Michael Hutchence's face. No more wickets fell until Kyal Hill was invited to get amongst it.

Known to grab opportunites with both hands, Hill obliterated any chance of a Sano recovery. By the time he was done, Sano was sunk, and Wombats were sending text messages back to Yoyogi. Kyal dropped his pace a notch, and was quickly assessed as being innocoulous enough, but in taking a huge swing at harmless looking ball #2, the batsmen forgot to hit it, and was bowled.

Kyal confused the batsmen with wides both sides of the wicket, even hitting the edge of the pitch on leg side. Given the chance to hit the ball, next victim gently lobbed it out in the off where Adam Farmer took a good catch to his left. Victim #3 played a deft flick off his pads, and with GPS nanometre-precise accuracy, found the exact centre of the hands of the only man within a 50 metre arc, Steven Burke. The pressure of a potential Herschelle (rivalling Luke's effort) was enormous, but Burkey coped.

There was no rocket science about Kyal's work, just putting it on the spot (or so far wide that they can't hit it....) time and time again.

Gavin Beath picked up a wicket with a young Japanese lad jumping across his stumps to get out of the ball's way, and yet somehow managing to get his pads in between the timber and the leather.

Sano's "Robocop" was the last man out, batting through from #4 for a well compiled, level-headed 26. Paul Shax bowling at his non-prefered Shed End, began his spell with a vicious bouncer and Curtley Ambrose death stare, lured him from his kitchen for Shearer to stump.

Sano had collpased from 0-34 to all out 87. Much credit must go the ball polishing team, lead by a man known for his glistening, Courtney Jones, with assistance from Steven Burke. Their vigourous ball rubbing helped us bowlers produce a set of figures not seen since....since Harajuku that morning: Hill 4-23, Beath 5 overs 1-9, Koolhof 1-12 fom 8, Gason 2-10 from 7.

Sano's bowlers started well, bowling tidily and with great accuracy. However, without the likes of Rizwan, Munir, Razzaq, to win would require a DK Lillee v QLD-like effort from their two openers, and despite their best efforts, that didn't happen.

Adam Farmer and Steven Burke began patiently, as you can when chasing 2 an over. A huge six hooked from the Shed End opener was the highlight of Adam's innings, before the same fella had his revenge, trapping him LBW.

Ross Ferris came out, and that is never good news for a bowling side, especially one with many young and inexperienced leather-flingers. The pair made light work of the light-weight task. Ferris raced to 43 in perhaps 25 balls. As is his habit, Steven Burke stood erect for 24 (runs, not hours...), and in doing so became the first Wombat to pass the 2000 run mark.

Both batsmen's placement was superb, their timing too. Leaning into balls to drive them in the off, or piercing square cuts. Ross also Tendulkar-ed a short ball over slip for 4.

There was nothing subtle about the innings' most memorable moments when Ross, who had almost perished to Sano's young leggy's first ball, served up 26 runs from his second over. 18 of those runs came off three unfortunate consecutive full tosses, all of which went sailing behing square leg. One of them was still rising as it passed our boundary line, and was evetually retrieved from the jungle near the mid-wicket region of Fuji I.

The game was over not long after that, some time before 2. A leisurly emptying of the eski's contents followed, followed by an eager replenishing of it, and after McChucks, we entered traffic karma. The traffic ground to a halt, which is just as well for the slack-bladdered amongst us, one of whom (let's call him "Alex" cos that's his name) had actually asked for a piss-stop before we got going! Koolhoff, Shearer and Ferris jumped out and de-bladdered road-side, while 3 other wombats made the most of the open door to do the same. The sight of 3 of our least athletic specimen running along the emergency lane in thongs had us all in stitches, but the magnitude of this traffic monster meant that the only thongs we'd be seeing that night were on each other's stinky feet.

An unprecedented detour to an Odawara combini filled up the eski but in doing so put paid to one Wombat's plans for the evening. (57 piss-stops didn't help either.) The extra fuel brought out the best and the worst in the lads. Those of you who have ridden a classic wombat ride will know, or guess. Despite custodian Courtney Jones best efforts, the polystyrene was pulverized, the floor flooded, when Kiwi Corner erupted with Rowdy Grant Turner leading the charge over the seats. The retardedness began spilling into the no-go zone, but our eventual arrival at Harajuku allowed it to be dumped out the door. (I later received a text message from The Freak Ray, "I just walked past all your shit at Harajuku!) Two of the Wombats finest bodies attempted to re-create the mornings stair-case photo-shoot, but I think we'd have seen a better class of arse if we'd got back to the Brazilian Festival in time!

It was indeed a van ride to remember - although I suspect few of its participants actually will - and it will also be the last one on which I will act as match reporter. Someone else will have to pen the words from here on in. It's easy working with such a rich source of material though.

GT LEADS BOWLERS' CHARGE THRU EMBASSY GATES (09/08/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs British Embassy
>>>Match Photos

First up, I just wish to apologise for not getting the post-game beers cold enough. No excuses, I simply forgot to top the ice up at the combini. A serious deriliction of duties which is further proof that my days in the F&B industry are done and dusted. I thought running out of JD the other night was bad enough, but this was personal. If ever there was a day where the cricket was a secondary consideration, yesterday was it.

Wombats simply steam-rolled their way through Embassy for a ten wicket win, with less than 40 overs needed to comlete the whole match. Embassy's struggle for numbers goes on, a plight with which we sympathise, and the side they out out was no match for us. Having dodged the Sharks' plasticine bullet last week, we were fired up to play some good hard cricket and showed no mercy to our opponents.

GT lost the toss, and Wombats were asked to field. Our warm up catches and throwing probably gave Embassy hope, but the imposition of the skipper at the front of the attack smashed those hopes in the first over. 1-1 after 3 balls via a soft c&b was not enough for GT, who then out bowled his opposite number Brent before foreclosing on his castle in the 3rd over. 2-3 in the 3rd.

Restored as an opener, Dutchman Big Gay Al Koolhof further eroded Embassy's cause with a ball that was pure serendipity, swinging in to send Wickramaratana's middle stump tumbling. Mr Dexterious finished with 1-7 from 4, and GT 2-7 from 5. His crashing through the top order set the tone for the day, and won him the Hardys Man of The Match.

Kyal and myself were the first changers, and continued the wrecking. A crap ball was met by a crapper shot to get my first, and Kyal's persistence as awarded in his 3rd with the veteran Chris Thompson's wicket.

Dhanuka (36*) was the only one pissing in our milkshake, playing sensibly and solidly as wickets tumbled all around him.

GT's clued in bowling chages worked again as "Robert" Kumar was the 3rd of 4 Wombats to get a wicket with their first over. BG Al, whose catching is generally far better than his famous fielding, had bleated about wanting to field in the in-field, and didn't let his skipper down when he wrapped his armpit around a drive at mid-on.

Punch and Mura-ken came and went without the scorer's pencil sharpener's seeing the light of the day. Jarrad Shearer claims his shy at the bowler's end with no-one within cooee of backing up was all part of The Big Plan to get Dhanuka off strike, so Robert Kumar could get the number 10 caught at slip.

A Keystone Wombats moment at the square leg boundary wrapped up the innings. Despite the long grass, I wasn't sure of super athlete Kasun's chance of cutting the ball off, so at my urging he dived- even though he was over the ball. Perhaps this is why the batsmen tried for a second. I wasn't expecting Kasum to lob the ball up to me, but he did and the team-work paid off with some classic, Yes-No-Wait-Sorry running and a run-out.

90 or 91 was no target to defend, even with a slow outfield.

Dhanuka did bowl with good pace and accuracy, causing a few concerns for stalwarts Shearer and Beath. The peanut gallery busied itself winding up the new number 3, BG Al Koolhof, describing in exaggarated tones the pace, bounce, swing, movement. Every beating of the bat, every wrapping on the pad had GT's thanking him for going in ahead. When Japan's leggie Mura-ken was introduced, poor Al was reminded of that dipping, drifting, fizzing ball that spat out of the rough to remove Rhino in last year's Ashes. "Just slog" was the only advice we could possibly offer him.

Meanwhile in the middle, Dino and Jesse made light work of the task. Beathy belted 19 off one Brent Kinnimont over, and 14 was taken from Mura-ken's second. We passed the half way mark in the 6th, and the only danger seemed to be BECC running out of balls. Beath lofted one onto the far bank of the river, and put another one somewhere in the jungle. An upper cut over point for 6 was probably the shot of the day.

The scorers hadn't yet accurately established just how many Embassy had scored, but the debate, and all possible dangers to Big Al's well-being, was ended by a booming Jarrad Shearer (25*) six to take us to 93 and strand Beath on 48* .

With the quick finish, some opted for a frollick in the polluted river, while the sensible among us who couldnt be arsed moving sat around and shot the shit. While a hard fought game would've been nice, a leisurely few hours on lounging around on the grass ain't a bad thing. And if you can give a shoulder massage to the young lass doing the scoring on Fuji I, well that's even better.

Driving home in bright day-light didn't encourage the revelry. Not a lot to highlight, and not a Jones in sight made for a lack-lustre opening. The only solution was for us to descend head first into the gutter. Highlights and low-lights of our international and domestic experience provided a van-load of laughs and vital team-bonding. He of the 7-wicket haul seemed to think we over-do the smut, and kept trying to rig Adam's bat-phone up the the audio gizmo so we could listen to Pommie commentators have jolly themselves over some tail-end slogging.

Wombats enter the finals again undefeated, and although maths ain't my strong point, I think we should finish top with 4 wins and a draw. Keep an eye out for a profanity-laced email from Rowdy Grant Turner about trainings, and tell those Swedish nympho-twins that you are busy the first and last weekends of September. And if you don't like smut then think of something else 11 boozed up blokes in a van can talk about. Neo-classical Greek sculpture?

WOMBAT STEW (26/07/2009)
by Adam Farmer
>>>Match Photos - Kasun
>>>Match Photos - Shax

Tokyo turned on a magnificent day of weather as the wombats headed down south to Yokohama for the rescheduled and much anticipated match against the Yokohama Country & Athletic Club. Much had been mentioned to us newcomers about the YC&AC facilities and some had even labelled it the "best place to play cricket in Japan". We were not disappointed upon arrival and were greeted by a newly laid, completely artificial cricket ground and not to mention fantastic amenities such as pool, bar, showers and toilets. Something, which does not typically greet us upon arrival at Ageo or Fuji!

Unfortunately for GT & the entire Wombats crew, GT lost his first toss of the 2009 season and the YC&AC captain had no hesitation of sending us out to field in by what had now become a stifling hot day, typical of what you would expect upon arrival at Hyderabad or some stinking hot sub-continent ground. Let me tell you, we now have a renewed appreciation for Jonesy's double century at Chennai in '87.

I must admit that we had a terrible warm up session. A comical 15 minutes of dropped catches and poor throws. We then started the game and unfortunately we failed to regain the fielding skills that had seen us remain unbeaten through this season so far. A series of drop catches ensured the YC&AC a handy innings. Our bowlers had to work hard on a batting friendly wicket and not having great support in the field. YC&AC tracked a comfortable run rate and the opening partnership rewarded 89 runs. Dino showed the rest of the team what we had been missing by taking a fantastic low diving forward catch (definite KFC classic catch inclusion) off the bowling of Prabhat to break the opening partnership.

YC&AC continued to punish us in the field. Unable to stand the pain anymore, Chuck demanded a chance to roll the arm over and produced some nice overs reaping 3 for 35 of 6. Highlighting the spell was the Freddy superman stance, which failed to gain many willing participants' in the group hug! Not to mention the fact that he was robbed to chance of a hatrick opportunity by an umpiring decision that was not based on the rules of the game.

The YC&AC finished the innings setting the wombats a not to shabby 275 for victory.

Dino & Beathy padded up to open the wombats innings. When asked the batting order and more precisely "whose batting at 3?" The usually subdued GT stated a firm "ME!", obviously eager for a bat and the chance to show us that he is indeed a batsman come bowler, not the other way around. Dino & Beathy played some trademark shots however GT came to the pitch after Dino was caught smashing one out of the centre straight into waiting hands. We then witnessed some beautiful stroke play all around the ground as he went onto to score 73. Chuck joined GT at the centre after Beathy was caught for 32 by another YC&AC fielder who was able to do what we couldn't (hold a catch....) Continuing his fine form with the bat of late, Chuck also displayed some textbook shots and at one stage clipped two sixes in a row straight over the fence on leg side, leaving yours truly wondering if his car had just been decorated with several large dents! These boys continued a very handy partnership and pushed the total to 201 when Chuck was bowled down leg side for 56.

Unfortunately the required run rate was creeping up to around 10 an over due to some very good containment bowling/fielding by our hosts. I came to the pitch with the intention of giving the new "Screaming Cat" a test and was not disappointed when I managed to middle a few. However my stint was all too short and I was bowled for 22. By this stage we required around 40 off the last 11 balls which was a task too big even for our gallant tailenders who tried hard right to the last ball. In the end we fell 20 odd runs short, beaten by a better team on the day.

After enjoying showers, the boys hit the bar and were asked to join the celebrations for Neil's going away party. Many beers were required to rehydrate us after a long day. Accompanied by some family and friends, the wombats showed that even through we might have lost our fielding skills for the day, we certainly continuing our fine drinking form!

NO RAIN CAME AS TIGERS TAMED IN PC GAME! (18/07/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs Indian Tigers
>>>Match Photos

Tokyo Wombats outplayed the Indian Tigers in all departments Saturday to win the first round clash of the Pacific Cup by 9 wickets, at Ageo, setting up an October clash with KCL cricketing giants, The Giants.

With some of the Wombats finest living out their air hostess fantasies down at Izu, the line-up looked a little wobbly. On the 0840 to Ageo we saw no sign of Chiang Mai veteran Paul Knighton, so were possibly wobbly and short, but he did duly appear, and put down two cans of Yebisu for good measure while we procrastinated at Ageo station.

The ground was free of softballers, those noble pillars of the sporting community, so the pitch was pegged down and we waited for the rest of the Tigers, and play kicked off around 11:30, with Tigers to bat.

Bouyed by some good old fashioned school-boy smut, the Wombats were in a jovial mood, but soon switched on to serious, when The Freak Luke Ray took a running jumping catch at square leg to give Kyal the first wicket. Tigers were soon in trouble at 3/20 in the 7th when I cut one back to take leg, then on the advice of the stand-in skip Steven Burke dropped a short ball at big-hitting Balu's nose, which he fended off to the waiting hands of Mark Kelly for a Golden Duck. In 42 balls, Tigers had had just 4 scoring shots.

Pramood and Anil consolidated until Gavin Beath got the breathrough. Mark Kelly's spell almost was almost arrested early for a head high beamer, but he managed to avoid the long arm of the law and later after drinks picked up the stubborn opener Anil, courtesy of a good catch by Burkey.

Beath also had a crack at a hat-trick, removing Sohail and Parthi in consecutive balls, but was denied a damn confident LB shout for the 3rd.

Debutant Kasun Perera had a dropped catch for which he had to make amends. And with his innocolus looking lobs did just that bowling the Muralitharan look-alike behind his legs.

A declined appeal for a stumping had our keeper hot under the collar, his bald and sunburnt head glowing like a red hot bowling ball, as he threw his hands up and gloves down, before the de rigeur Tea Pot, and a plea we will be hearing about come November: "Oh, Come ON!! Burkey- do something!"

No, not Jarrad. Adam Farmer, well done!

Raj and Abraham wagged away long enough to have Burkey consider giving Jarrad a bowl, but then the skip remembered he had a hung-over 50-something with 2 Yebisu in him, a dodgy back and who hadn't played outside CM6s for 27 years. No brainer really, and so we were spared the indignity of Dino's dollies. Paul could have picked up a wicket when a top edge went AWOL and landed safely, but before he could get a second over in, Luke Ray's pace (or lack of) and got through the defences of the last two bats.

Just the one chance was grassed and some sharp chances taken, backed up by some tidy fielding. Not so tidy was Kasun's footwork, prefering to use his lurid blue shoes to trap the ball instead of his paws. Killer also tried to legs approach to outfielding and copped a cracker on the ankle bone for his troubles.

Tigers 149. Raj 37, Anil 32, wides (loosely defined) 36. Beath 3/36, Luke and me 2 apiece, 3 Ks -Killer Kasun and Kyal- 1 each.

150 on the dustbowl shouldn't have presented any problems, and indeed it did not. The miniscule droplets of rain that had fallen on and off seemed to have buggered off, so with the stalwarts of Shearer and Burke to open, what could go wrong?

Well, Jarrad's pants, for a start. Having blown the elastic and lost a nappy pin, the big baby was forced to hold his strides up with an extra thigh pad, an effort which was not entirely succesful.

Mr Burke was of course dressed for success and the pair began to undress the bowlers after 2 circumspect opening overs. 10 from the 3rd, 9 from the 4th and 5th, and the Tigers were looking like a threatened species. Despite some good pace and some accurate bowling, the Tigers gave these veterans enough loose offerings to undo their good work, and the score motored along comfortable at 7 an over. Wombats turned over the strike well, and Tigers were regularly sighted scampering in the nearby jungle.

Pramood bowled a good line nearly burst through Burkey defence, but strangely was given just two overs. Balu picked up the Tigers only wicket when Jarrad came to a sticky end shooting one downtown into some eagerly waiting hands. With still 70 to get, there was a long way to go yet, but Adam and Burkey made short work of the task.

Adam played some uncharacteristic straight bat defensive shots, but once he saw Burkey begin to unwind decided he didn't want to miss out, and went on a boundary spree of his own, including one pull shot peeled away millimetres from busting his nose.

Both batsmen benefitted from a dropped catch or two, much to the disappointment of #4 Paul - who had surprised some of us with his batting in Chiang Mai this year!

Large leg-side gaps were exploited throughout the innings, and when the cherry again went AWOL in the jungle, drinks were taken an over early, 24 needed for victory.

Steve Burke must have remembered he had a hot date with a couple of ANA hostesses of his own, cos he came out a man on a mission. A wide to re-start proceedings was followed by Burkos twice advancing down the track, once lofting over cover for 6, once settling for a mere 4. A single allowed Adam to get amongst it, and he cow cornered for 6 and 4, leaving two needed.

The big booming down town six to finish never came, as Parthi finished with the odd figures of 0.0 overs 0/2 (two wides).

Wombats 1/150. Burkos 70*, Adam 28*, Dino 29.

Improving their catching would make the Tigers a far better team. Last meeting we enjoyed 7 lives, this time maybe 4 or 5, which can often mean the difference between a win and a loss. Guys, thanks for the game. Always good to play a new side, and hope it won't be the last.

Back at Ageo, the Family Guys drove off, but in exchange we got Big Roy and Barry, designer of the Wombats' logo. In his enthusiasm to get amongst the coldies, Luke Ray almost pulled the izakaya door down as the kit bag got caught on the frame! Perhaps we had used up all our gutter talk on the morning train and pre-game banter. Instead of Pup's Proudest Poonani, we got a debate over the colonisation of Asia and the causes of WWII, and followed that up with why the cognatively challenged can't be called spastics, and which other specific derogatory remarks are not an acceptable.

After making us miss a direct train to the 'jukes, Killer tried and failed to befriend half the passengers (normal programming resumed?) but left us with this philosophical gem: if you don't do anything wrong, you don't get arrested.

Well, you'd know.

ARE TIGERS AFRAID OF WATER? (28/06/2009)
by Jarrad Shearer
>>>Match Photos

I had always assumed that it was an urban legend. However, I discovered on Sunday that Tigers are indeed afraid of water. At least the Indian kind that wears blue! With 5 overs to go to make Sunday's first round Pacific Cup game against the Indian Tigers official, 3 drops of rain and the fearsome pace of Kyle Hill sent the Tigers running for cover at 5-105 chasing 295. Alas the rain didn't abate and with the PC committee ruling it a no result, the game needs to be replayed.

My day began with Jesse giving me an 8:15am morning call, although to be fair it was I who emailed him from the pong at 5am suggesting it might be a good idea to do so. My day wasn't any better when I found out that Mumtaz wasn't coming to the station to meet us. We ended up driving around like spastics until Mumtaz finally met us and showed us the way. Having had less than 2 hours sleep I was running on adrenaline, which is the reason why when Burkey won the toss and decided to bat - although in hindsight, with the weather forecast being for rain at 3pm, perhaps we should have bowled; but then when have the Japanese weather forecasters ever got a forecast right? - he sent Jesse and I into bat. Jesse played a typical Jesse innings and spanked anything with even a margin of width to the boundary and even played a one-handed pull, a la the great Vivian Richards, to send the ball into the fence. Jesse was playing with such freedom that at about the 6th over, when we were going at about 8 an over, he suggested we should try to push it above 10 an over.

It wasn't long later that Jesse departed well-caught down the legside by the keeper for a quick fire 42. Chuck, promoted to his normal spot at 3, started cautiously but didn't take him long before he continued on from where Jesse left off, particularly harsh on anything full. After drinks we upped the tempo but not long after surviving a very close bat before wicket appeal and also a loud caught behind bat hitting the ground appeal (apparently these are legitimate forms of dismissal in India), I charged the dart chucker, missed it, and was bowled for 62. Ross came in and immediately hit the first 6 of the game, almost hitting a parked car.

Chuck found scoring so easy he was calling "no" and sill running. At 260, Chuck's luck finally ran out and he was caught for 84, although one Wombat in the shed bears part responsibility as he asked for Chuck's score to be counted the ball before. Rosco kept purring along - in fact in his 28 ball 48 he only had 6 dot balls - until he was bowled by a full toss. So sudden and unexpected was his dismissal that Chuck, sitting next to me on the boundary, inquired as to what Ross was doing coming back to the shed! It was at this point that the scoring slowed and we only scored another 35 runs off the last 6 overs, the highlight of which was Shaxy's frst dig in over 3 years, and even though he didn't face a ball, he almost got run out, twice!

So with that the slowest 35-over inning in world history came to an end. If there were fines imposed on slow over rates in the Pac Cup, the Tiger's skipper would be singing for his supper.

After a short changeover, Kyle and Ian were handed the new rock, er, cherry and in his first over, Kyle had Praveen caught behind for 2 with a beauty that just left the batsman, which incidentally was Adam's first catch for the club! Ian also joined in a few overs later and got Ranodas, also caught behind. When Abhisher pushed gently to yours truly at point, his mate, Gijo, thought there must be an easy single to the slowest bloke on the field. His mate disagreed and when I gathered the ball and looked up, ready to rocket it in, I saw them standing next to each other at the strikers end having a leisurely chat. I duly lobbed the ball to Curly, who did the rest, and Gijo was run out for 9.

Kyle continued his fine spell, first having Abhisher well caught by Burkey at mid-off - while it was hit straight to him, it was travelling at tracer bullet-like speed - and then bowling Sakthi for a second ball googy egg. Curly, on the other hand, was being spanked to all four corners, with his 7-over spell costing 52 runs.

It was at this point, that is 2:59:59, as per forecast, that a few drops of rain came from the heavens. Balu decided that he was allergic to water and wanted to flee the ground. After a long chat in the middle with their batsmen, the umpires, and 3 of their blokes from the sidelines, he was convinced the rain wouldn't kill him and proceeded to spank Kyle's next ball for 6. A few balls and more whinging later, even though he had spanked a few more boundaries, the batsman was getting rather upset with the possibility of drowning so Burkey brought on the spinners. 2 overs and again more boundaries later, the batsmen were positive that they were going to drown in the light rain so they sprinted from the field. Nothing could convince them to return, and when Mumtaz returned and saw us off the field, he made an executive decision to bring in the pitch.

Although to be fair, by that stage the rain had grown heavy enough to call the game off. Although its arguable we could have gotten through the 5 remaining overs to make it a game. The way the Tigers were batting, they had every chance to win the game on run-rate and/or the Duckworth-Lewis system. Alas that's not how it panned out and we have to play the game again, much to Burkey's delight seeing as he didn't get a crack at them with the bat.

The day finished in a disappointing fashion as we stood in the rain for over half an hour trying to get cabs to come to the ground. It dampened our spirits so we decided to give the izakaya the Freo treatment and had a Maccas dinner before jumping onto the train back to the big smoke. Very uneventful and subdued trip back on the train...

WOMBATS GO 3 FROM 3 (31/05/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs Predators
>>>Match Photos

A petulant kindergarten-esque display of childishness from Japan's softball community was the first of many obstacles the Tokyo Wombats had to overcome before thumping the Tokyo Predators in a satisfying but nonetheless un-enjoyable 8 wicket win Sunday.

Rudeness, aggression and arrogance greeted the lads at Fuji as the softball knob-jockeys parked the benches on the Fuji Cricket Ground #2 and played stupid catch ball warm-ups where we unreasonable foreign barbarians had entertained dillusions of having a game of cricket. Never mind they could have sat somewhere else and played catchie on the other half of the ground they were using, nope, they excercised their perogative to jerk us around til 1 o'clock. And abused us for good measure. Where was Bish when you need him?

If dealing with those f****its wasn't enough, Predators threatened to take their bats and balls and go home - literally. While the logic of "let's just see" did prevail, their brains trust was reluctant to accept the adjusted game conditions, even before they had been decided. The argument that "we don't want to play a 20 over match" got 'em nowhere with two of Japan's coolest umpiring heads, Thurgate and Lollback. To suggest that we instead play a meaningless hit and giggle practise match instead of playing for points probably didn't help their cause.

Meanwhile the JCA sat on their hands and took the bold approach of asking us not to upset the softball tossers.

Sometime around 1, satisfied that they had not only been a complete bunch of pricks but that had also proved that their Dads are in fact bigger than our Dads, satisfied that what damage to our day that they could not do would be done by the rain, the Kings of The Sandpit Softball Tournament wrapped up and f***ed off. And gracefully allowed us to humbly use our cricket ground for which we must be eternally grateful, amen.

GT sent Predators in to bat in a game reduced to 35 overs. The first few overs were unremarkable before two soft wickets fell. Then came a collision between bowler and runner which may not have been intended but still showed a pretty thorough failure to understand the game. For a fieldsman to get knocked over standing over the stumps awaiting a return requires the runner to be running in the wrong place for a start......

Somehow the other batsman, Kiran, managed to portray himself as the victim of this, having a sook to the umps about something. The bloke was lucky to still be there at all, after being given the benefit of the doubt on a LB call on zero. Unluckily for us, 100 runs later he was still lucky to be there, courtesy of a brace of cross bat slogs and a dozen top edges. Lucky to be dropped 5 times (me twice, sorry Shax!) and lucky he doesnt walk when he edges to the keeper. Still, it's in the book as a ton.

Sometime after Kyal Hill had bowled their best bat and sometime during all that edging and cross-batting, rain sent the players off the field. Whilst we didn't lose any overs, the rain didn't really stop and the ball was rooted. Spinners struggled for control. Koolhof's shwing was abshent. Fieldsmen made meal of catches. Kiran changed his bat three times in three balls and kept getting away with jammy edges.

GT sent down a cricketing lesson to his opposing captain, with a spell so bamboozling that Jarrad would have been forgiven for bring out that lame-arse "Clue Shop" sledge. Chuckie picked up an LB. Shax grabbed a 3fa, despite my woeful display in cow corner. Koolhof bowled one 20 metres straight up into the air, and later picked up a run out, as the two noisiest batsmen this side of Gunma committed ritual suicide in the dying stages.

189 to get. 35 overs. Wet outfield. Long grass. Dark. And none of us had earplugs.

Predators first few overs kept us down to 4 an over, and Adam fell cheap to a slow full toss of all things. Predators appealling was as ludicrous as ever. Triple barrelled HOW IS THAT HOW IS THAT HOW ISSS THAAAAAT cries of the banxshies rung out every few balls. At least in this wet and shitty day the Wombats had something to laugh about. The umpires fortunately weren't amused, or phased.

Ross started off with a huge six over backward square, and carved the bowlers up for a while. He fell slicing one out to the deep, but the bowler Younis let himself down, running up to the batsman, jumping up and down screaming YES YES YES in his face. Congratulations to Ross for not punching his lights out. Predators have some behavoural issues to address.

Well, that was pretty much the last joy for the opposition. Chuck started off with a huge six over square, summing up not only the state of play but his intentions. From that moment the run rate climbed up where we needed it, and not even the most enthusiastic and ambitious appealling could stop it. Steven Burke stood tall, and played second fiddle as C Jones set the tone. His sixes were as huge as they come, and I'd reckon he hit 7 or 8 of 'em. The experienced pair pushed the first runs hard and turned many a single into twos.

It was a lesson. Text book cricket shots. Straight bats, down the ground. Leg side half trackers sent into another postcode. And let's not forget Steven Burke's imperious crunching cut shots. Predos had no answers. The first 100 took about 20 overs, but the remaining 89 runs came in the next 10. Jones (78) and Burke (54) added an unbeaten 143 for a solid 8 wicket win.

Congratulations and thanks to the two blokes who really were deserving of Hardys Man Of The Match awards, Chris Thurgate and David Lollback. Without you two there, who knows what may have happened.

CARNAGE AS EMBASSY DESTROYED BY WMDs! (23/05/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs British Embassy
>>>Match Photos

The Hardys' Tokyo Ashes will spend another 12 months safe in the Wombats' trophy cabinet after a rampant orgy of runs from the Wombats of Mass Destruction top four set British Embassy the Herculian task of chasing 371 runs, at Ageo Saturday.

Not having to wake up at 6am felt a bit strange for more than a few of us who gathered in Shinjuku for the 0944 Shonan, which fortunately for Iron Bowels Koolhof, came armed with a dunny. Unfortunately for Koolhof, after several attempts to enter the throne room, the train rocked into Ageo sooner than you can say "but I still haven't had my dump yet," leaving our Tasmanian Dutchman contemplating what might have been.

Courtney Jones gave Jarrad Shearer a fine excuse to trot out his word for the day - bogan. Courtney's shoulder now proudly boasts a fine ink memento of his time in the land of the rising sun. Well done Jones. While those in the know discussed the finer points of lines, creams and glad-wrap, the grumpy one tuttered and muttered away.

After the usual standing around, and procrastinating, the mat was laid, boundary marked and the coin came down in the Wombats favour. Ageo II resembled a parched Indian farm, something you might see in Al Gore's "An Incovenient Truth" and promised a lot of runs. Stand in captain, Steven Burke, thought we might have a bat, and watch from the shade of the trees as the Poms sweated it out.

With two blokes from south of the Swan, the choice of openers was already obvious, but when you have a Shearer and a Farmer, it makes sense to make hay while the sun shines. 12 hours after another Sandgroper Adam got amongst the runs in South Africa, our debutant Adam Farmer was soon ploughing through the bowling. In the meantime Shearer, clipped and cut away as he fleeced the uninspiring attack. Cow corner came under regular attack while they milked the bowling for a 95 run partnership. Eyeing the cool of the shade, with 44 from just 28 balls, Farmer decided that he was neither a mad dog or an Englishman and tried to swipe one too many and got bowled.

After a few overs adjusting the rolled plastic top, Ross Ferris took a liking to the trundlers and went to town. No Usain Bolt, Ross reckoned this fast outfield could be used to his advantage. Placing the ball out of reach of the field saved Ross a lot of energy on this hot day. Ross regularly stepped into the shot, stroked the ball away and stepped back into his crease in one smooth motion. No three steps down the crease just in case, nah, that's four, next please. And let's not forget the nine times he cleared the ropes!

Shearer too was amongst the runs, 74 of them in fact. Managed to pull and drive a 6 or three himself. He even managed a whole ONE run in the 32 run wide-fest over (which had the scorers all at sea!). But his good work came undone attempting a second off a fielder they had (incorrectly it appears) picked out as a "custard." 140 partnership, 2/230 or so, and we reckon a big score is on the cards.

With only ten men available late in the week, local boy Dave O'Caroll offered to dust off the whites, and was duly rewarded with the number four slot, and promptly delivered with a first ball four from a classy straight drive. At the other end, Ross was racing towards three figures, but was undone in controversial circumstances.

With the nugget on 97 (55 balls), scorer Alex Koolhof rose from his seat and wandered off mid over to get a drink!!! Dismissing cries of "where the f%$K do you think you're f@@$#ng going!?!?" with a careless "she'll be right" attitude, the walkabout scorer was clearly to blame for Ross coming out of his crease to smear one to cow-corner, and missing. Stumped by the length of the Flemington straight.

As the Wombats stormed past their previous record of 306, Dave continued the run-slaught as he raised his first Wombats 50 with the cleanest hitting seen on the day. Prabhat and Trent both lent run-a-ball support, as did the new look middle order of Burke and Jones. Another fellow who has made solid contribution to very Wombat innings should not be forgotten: Wides, 52.

371 was a big ask, but British Embassy's flexible recruiting policy saw old hands Kamran, Naeem and Mumtaz in their line-up, so with the baked dirt outfield, not impossible.

Burkey entrusted the new pill to me and Kyal Hill, who took on openers Naeem and Salisbury. It was good battle of bat v ball, as a few beatings of the bat would be answered by a few clubbings back over the bowler's head. Lots of oohs and aaghs and some almost half chances, but finally I got an edge which went straight past keeper Farmer and into the safe hands of tough stickers Jones. Kyal Hill got the crucial wicket of Naeem, who skied an edge into the stratosphere. Burkos ran back towards the square leg boundary and took the catch sliding with the flight of the ball (bottle of Hardys #1). Brent was welcomed with a bouncer and answered with some 4s and 6s, before taking on ginger whiskers, Trent Dean. Deano's return rocketed into the top of middle (bottle of Hardys #2) and at 3fa not enough, Embassy were in trouble.

Prabhat was brought on at the Far End, and as Burkey positioned me "right in front of the spectators there" I thought, "jeez, I hope I don't drop one." 2 balls later, Jarrad Shearer is calling me a "f#$%ng show pony" as I took the catch (Mumtaz) over head and steadied before checking I wasn't on the rope. I'll do a backwards roll and stick it in me pocket next time, ya grump!

Shearer again proved that wicket keepers shouldnt be allowed to bowl, by serving up some of the most disgraceful rubbish seen since, well, since last time he bowled. Not even good enough to be called pies, these Andre Adams two-hop things landed in the dirt more often than on the green. Laughter is infectious, and the big man had me and Ross in stitches. Wisely, Burkey gave him a second over, so Dino could get the big shovel out and dig a grave into which we permenantly entomb his bowling ambitions.

Kamran and Chaminda put on their best partnership collecting a fair few boundaries. Ross put paid to that, as Chaminda picked out the (at times not very) safe hands of Big Roy O'Carroll on the boundary. Roy gave us all a scare by failing at the first attempt, but collected the rebound off his chest. Ross also picked up Kamran, who swept adventurously but gloved the ball, which lobbed slowly and dislodged a bail. As the Wombats patted Ross' back, a confused and short-sighted Chuck arrived from cow corner, and enquired, "How was THAT out??"

Big Gay Al belatedly put one on the stumps and got a wicket, which deprived Ross of the first ever 6fa. Ross did get the magic 5, courtesy of a magic pluck out of the air catch (Hardys #3) from a bloke who had just made a meal of fielding two balls in the over, Jarrad Shearer.

Embassy all out 230.

The fleet of vehicles deposited us at Ageo station, where too many Wombats made like Brett and headed for the kitchen. Reggie joined us at the izakaya, and well, Wombats, izakaya, you know how that ends.

Kyal, who had an outstanding day in the field, was also a stand out on the train, firming as favourite for the Golden Thong. Attempting jibberish conversation with the locals about the Engrish on their T-shirts is one thing, but removing the said garment from the confused local, refusing to return it to the half naked lad is definetly pushing it. But to toss the over-priced T through the closing doors!? Kyal, that's Golden!

WONDERFUL WOMBATS STOMP SANO (26/04/2009)
by Courtney Jones
>>>Match Scorecard vs Sano
>>>Match Photos

As QF flight 79 touched down at Narita on Saturday morning in pelting rain I cursed the weather gods for their timing. One more weekend in Perth where rain has been as rare as an ugly chick in Shibuya would have been perfect. I did look at the positive side though. At least I can now get back to eating meals without a volume and calorie count to feed a west African nation for a week.

No phone call Saturday night or Sunday morning calling off the game so I guess we're somehow on. Maybe the cyclone now blowing outside would help dry the ground and it certainly made for a rather wild and rocky van ride down to Fuji much to Laids' distress.

Big puddles on Fuji 2 had blokes with brooms, shovels, rakes, sawdust and even sponges attempting to make it playable but it was obvious we weren't going to start on time with Sano's captain Miyaji insisting on protecting the surface of his beloved Fuji grounds. Eventually the game was moved to the less logged Fuji 1 for a reduced 32 over game, beginning at 12:20 which incidently coincided with 2 of Sano's better players arrival at the ground. Coincidence or gamesmanship? It didn't matter because the Wombats played close to their best cricket to defeat arguably their greatest rivals by 5 wickets in a high quality game on Sunday April 26th.

First gamers Laids (official game) and Kumar were presented with the prized Wombats playing shirt and we were bowling thanks to GT's quality tossing. And bowl we did! Laids and Beefy were as tight as a rusted screw in an opening spell that reduced Sano's very decent top order to 4-18 of 12 overs. Laids bowled quality outswing into a sea breeze that made the Freo Doctor feel like a babies fart while Beefy coming down was boomerranging big innys onto a perfect length. Their control and swing in difficult bowling conditions proved way to good for Sano's top 4. 3 fell to edges to Dino and Beefy produced a yorker from the Waqar Younis textbook (although at a reduced pace!) to bowl the explosive Munir first ball.

Fuji and new face Andrew set about steadying the sinking Sano ship with a 58 run partnership with a mixture of skill and occassional aggression with Fuji's perfectly timed on driven 4 the highlight of the partnership. Shax enticed Fuji into another big shot to have him well caught by Burke at cover for 36 and Andrew edged to Dino straight after to give Matty Strider his first wicket for the Wombats. Unabated Wombats bowling and fielding pressure never allowed Sano's lower order biffers into the game. Razzaq holed out to Trent at cow corner off GT and Miyaji followed, slicing one up to Burkey again at cover without a boundary between them.

Kumar also picked up his first wicket for the club with a beautiful googly, bowling the young Takumi without playing a shot. Takumi was later heard saying he's never seen a googly before and such was the quality of Kumar's I doubt he's still seen one! Keeping a very good Sano side to 9-124 off 32 overs was testament to how well all the Wombats bowled and fielded. 2 wickets to Laids, Beefy and GT. 1 each to Shax, Matty and Kumar.

A tactical change in the batting order saw Dino open up with Beefy and Burkey dropping down to #4. Chasing 125 aginst a quality attack wasn't going to be easy but Dino and Beefy showed their class by seeing off the new ball under immense pressure form Sano's opening bowlers and scoring at a good rate to boot. Andrew in particular bowled with good pace and bounce as did Razzaq but paid the Beefy penalty of bowling a couple of short ones that disappeared over square leg for boundaries.

Hanif took a speccy one hander to dismiss Beefy for 16 and Chuck played on next over to give Sano a sniff at 2-49. However the move of Burkey at 4 proved critical as he and Dino put on 48 decisive runs to take the game out of reach of Sano. Again Razzaq chose the wrong man to bang one in short to as Burkey(26) unloaded a magnificent pull shot for the only 6 of the day and Jarrad showed all his usual doggedness to top score(42) as the game slipped away from Sano. 2 late strikes from Miyaji to give him a chance at a hattrick kept the game interesting to the end but Striders batting prowess blunted the hattrick threat and his expert piercing of the gap between keeper and first slip saw the Wombats home with 25 balls to spare and our second JCL victory of the season.

Hardy's Wombats best went to Beefy Jesse for his 2/15 off 7 and 16 runs double. Sano's best to Andrew for his allround efforts and Hardy's Play of the Day went to Hanif for his speccy catch. Special mention to Dave Lolback who umpired the game expertly and without fuss. It's said that the best umpires are the ones who aren't noticed and Dave certainly did that and had a great game.

Wombats victory song was sung but perhaps not with full participation because some newer members aren't yet fully versed. Beers were consumed quickly with the cold wind forcing all to the sanctuary of the van and Maccas. Plenty of cricket talk on the van back to Tokes and fairly uneventful with only a couple of minor wrestling skirmishes erupting signaling our inebriation.

An excellent allround display by the Wombats set up by the opening spells of Laids and Beefy which ultimately proved the difference between the 2 sides. Oh yeah. We did all this with 10 men, too! If we consistently play as well as we did last Sunday then we'll again be hard to beat in 2009. Bring on the Ashes! May 23rd!

DEBUTANT SLAYS WYVERNS IN GF REPLAY (12/04/2009)
by Ross Ferris
>>>Match Scorecard vs Wyverns
>>>Match Photos

On a brilliant sunny day with Fuji providing a once again very scenic backdrop, the Wommies took on Wyverns in the first official match of the season. There was a pre-game shirt presentation to debutant Wombats Trenton, Gavin and Matt.

Captain Invincible Burke won the toss and elected to bat before he and Beathy strode to the crease to systematically dismantle the Wyverns attack. A partnership of 122 in 18 overs set up a perfect platform for us to establish an imposing total for the Wyverns to chase. Beathy was in great touch hitting three towering sixes to the long off region as well as cover driving and pulling with class. Burkey played a back seat role but showed enough to suggest he is in for a big season before he was dismissed for 32.

I joined Beathy for a partnership of 88 before Gavin was dismissed to a very sharp leg side stumping for a superb 118. Dino joined me and soon after I played a donkey shot, holing out to a terrific catch from the young Japanese fella dressed as a baseballer for 45. Curly and Dino (Heckyl and Jeckyl) enjoyed a loving and caring partnership of 18 with Mars Bars calling out to Fast Cars and Fast Cars telling Mars Bars to go and do the same. Dino pulled off one of his signature dummy spits when he slapped out to cow corner only for Houdini to raise one hand, take a classic catch and then miraculously produce the ball from behind his back...a great catch enjoyed by all...except the seething Chiangmai Dinosaur. "F&#$ing showpony $#@!".

After Reggie received a sandshoe crusher and a black toe first ball he looked up to see the umpire's finger raised. Wickets fell quickly with the tail proving to be decidedly longer than what you would expect from the standard Australian marsupial. Killer and Rayos managed to block out the last over possibly taking the captain's instruction of seeing out the overs a little too far when Rayos turned one to fine leg for a possible two runs only to hear a "NO" call from Killer and the batsmen stood their ground. 7 for 242 off the allotted 40 overs.

Rayos and Curls opened the bowling but didn't manage to break the Wyverns opening partnership. Curly bowled a very accurate spell however to eventually finish with 1/25 of 8 overs, beating the bat many-a-time. First change saw Al Koolhof get the breakthrough with the batsman chopping on. The very next ball, the momentum swung the Wombats way even further with the new batsman clean bowled.

One highlight of the day was Dino's one handed horizontal catch diving in front of Burkey at first slip off Curly's bowling. Matt Stride and Beathy both bowled some good line and length at times with Beathy picking up two clean bowleds. Matt decided he didn't like the look of the muscle top on Dino's mate and bounced him twice only to see two of the cleanest and longest pull shot 6's you would ever want to see. Burkey was nice enough to throw me the ball when the tail arrived. I was supported by some great catching from Killer (AKA John Dyson play of the day) and Al to finish with 4 wickets.

Trent finished the innings off with his first Wombat wicket and the Wommies were home by 60 runs in an impressive start to the season with some quality players to come back into the side.

The van ride home was riddled with Changmai "cricket" stories, identification of lady boy features and Killer needing a pit stop every 10 minutes. Chu-Hi filled the esky which was somehow empty when we arrived back at Harajuku. Rayos and Beathy went back to their youth on the locals' skateboards until general consensus persuaded Beathy to give it a miss as it appeared highly likely he was going to cause himself some serious damage.

Great start to the year Wommies and an enjoyable day on many levels for all.

2009 BEGINS WITH A RUSTY, MUDDY WIN (15/03/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Photos

The only predators to land a blow on the Wombats at Fuji Sunday were the crows that stole Ross and Trent's lunch, as the team formally known as Tokyo Dragons chased their tails all day. Marsupials ate, rooted and left victorious by 7 or 8 wickets as Ballarat's Billy Birmingham Ross Ferris spanked an unbeaten 79.

The Wombat unit assembled for the first practise match of the year bore little resemblance to the Grand Final team - no Rhino, Reggie, Morty, Pup, Burkey. And with 5 or more players lurking on the sidelines, it would appear our numbers have been shored up for our 2009 season.

Four new Wombats - Rory from Jo'burg, Trent from Aust and two Kiwis Jesse Beath and Eugene Bogun (no really, that's his name) joined the hardy vets at Harajuku, piled into the (late) van and we made good haste to Fuji. Beaut clear skies, marvelous views of the ol' mountain and small festering ponds on the field? What more could you ask for in a day's cricket?

New skip GT lost his first toss, and after we made a meal of some fielding practise, we headed out to dust off the rust, and knock the Predators over. Huge Euge was given the first over and delivered duly with a LBW. Not to be out-done, yours truly at the river end saw his LBW and raised him a C&B. 3/7 at the end of the second, and down at fine leg I was thinking, "that Jarrad bloke IS right. It's NOT rocket science."

Big Gay Al ended a recovery of sorts by getting his big gay body down and grabbing a catch at square leg, an effort which earned him a bottle of Hardys. Not that he was grateful, bleating at the presentation, "but I've already got one of those!" Well, now you've got two, ya blouse.....

GT tossed the ball to Trent, who threw down a pie. The batsmen tickled it round the corner where H-eugene spilled it. So was the pattern of the day. 7+ catches went down, from the GT's comical slip & slide, to Shaxxie's gully sitter, and a couple of sharper but catchable ones here there and everywhere in between.

Determined to make a game of it, we sent down a disgraceful 38 wides for the day. Gavin Beath garnered 4 in one over and plenty of blokes 2 or 3 an over. Rory bowled some handy stuff, as well as some stuff best summed up by mate Eugene's call from fine leg, "Rory, that's shithouse! Come on!"

With Koolhof's famously dexterous digits not delivering his deadly shwing, and our slapstick efforts in the field, Younis and partner added 60 for the 5th wicket, although it wasn't a partnership for the proverbial photo album. The reluctant bowler GT (or was it Rory?) broke the partnership with his usual no frills, do-I-have-to style of pin-point bowling.

Some of the better techniques on display in the field included the old "Fall over and lie in the path of the ball" method, the "Fall over and watch the ball go under you" method, the "Fall over 10 metres from a catch" method, and the "Spike the ball over the boundary for six" method.

Our slow men - Luke, Shax and Ross - who we can expect to play an important role in the post Pup & Morty era, followed the skipper's tight example in the latter stages. Rayos in particular sent down one of the most controlled and controlling spells of his career. With the red pens warming up, the last pair had a belated crack and added 20 or so, mostly in the last two overs. The final total a flattering 195, and as a Predator whoopied as the 100 came up, "we need two hundred today." Nah, try 3.

As the temperature dropped and the wind blew cold, Gav and Jarrad went out to accomplish the mission. Runs came steadily, and the 4th over produced 20 runs. Seems these IT blokes had all read the Monty Panesar Big Book Of Appealling, and had a few Wombats doing a Bish - "where's my Ipod!?!". Or some earplugs.

Gavin Beath feathered one and walked with the score on 49, and when Jarrad followed moments later with his woodwork assunder the celebrations caused him to ask, "You think you've won the World Cup, do you?"

Despite not having his preferred MRF, Ross Ferris wheeled through the Predos bowling. Several overs went for 20+. He raised his 50 in 40 balls before he'd even raised a sweat. (And Ross aint no super athlete!) No raise of the bat though, a sign of a job half done. Chuck however was a little more circumspect, racking up 13 dot balls between his 1st and 2nd runs. The over appealling had now got out of hands, and though I can't recall the exact phrase he used, the former skipper politely suggested to the slips that perhaps you gentleman may wish to curtail these frivilous enquiries.

It wasn't a suggestion well received, and the Predo boss thought the comments out of line. Difference of opinions were exchanged, the umpires consulted and a skipper to skipper tet a tet on the boundary followed. Apparently they had found cause for concern in our fielding demeanour (not enough dropped catches?) and we now had to sit back and enjoy their 4.5 appeals an over.

Not long after that Chuck slashed at a couple of rubbish balls and was dropped once and missed once. The pair really began to tee off after drinks and wrapped it all up quicker than a dry one-liner from Richie Benaud. Ross plonked how many sixes 20 rows back? Chuck joined in the dragon slaying with some big shots of his own. Ross retired on 79 to make an early start on his bottle of Hardys, and GT and Chuck took us home in the 25th over.

15 overs of centre wicket practise followed, with me and GT shamelessly hogging half of it. Eugene came in and launched his second ball into the jungle. Rory showed he could up the ante late in the day, and Shax saw live action for the first time since June of 2006.

The journey home was its own special challenge. That super market with the easy parking and a Maccas is now on the Wombat's shit-list, courtesy of a team of glo-stick waving oji-sans, a round the block and inside out maze of a carpark and no longer having a McChucks. As the driver said, you stick ya f****ng glo-sticks up ya bums.

If that traffic jam wasn't THE worst ever, I would not hesitate to rate it the second worst we have ever encountered. Fortunately the new Wombats got into the spirit of the van (depsite seriously under-catering - 2 cans?) paying out on their new buttered fingered, tea-potting, pie-chucking team-mates in the high (and low)lights. Conversation ended up in the gutter, and these new blokes showed no hesitation in sharing with fellas 10 hours ago strangers, their deep held feelings for Steffi Graf and Miko Lee. The present and future make up of the Nine Commentary Team was giving a critical once over, which inevitably lead to guest appearance from Darrel Eastlake, Ray Warren, Richie, Tony, Bill, Maxie Walker, and even Killer and Morty.

League games commence April. Schedule out soon. A few blokes could do with a few more overs in the nets, so get down to training - details coming.

In the meantime, it's off to the chrome pole palaces and the Chiang Mai Sixes! Watch this space!